doing much better

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
doing much better
2
Thu, 12-04-2003 - 9:23pm


Just wanted to give a quick note hello!!!!!!!

I am doing alot better still cutting but not as much maybe because I want my arm to heal.

I am looking into a group thing called D.B.T. sounds interesting so I guess I will give it a try.

I am starting to think I may have borderline personality disorder I have been reading up on it and it describes me almost to a tee.

I am sorry that I havent been around and posted but I have been trying to focus on alot of things and work them out on my own but I plan on tomorrow to read as many posts as I can.

Just wanted to say hello

I hope all of you are doing well.

Erin

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 12-04-2003 - 9:26pm
Erin, I'm glad to hear you are doing better. The fact that you are still cutting worries me tho. Hope you feel even better very soon. Debbie
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Thu, 12-04-2003 - 11:31pm
Erin,

I've actually wondered if you might have Borderline Personality Disorder. If you do, I want to tell you that you have a milder case. There are levels to it. At it's more extreme, people with Borderline can't keep a job for more than a day. Even medium cases have a hard time keeping a job for more than a few weeks. You have been at the same job for a while now, which suggests that you have a milder case, if that is what you have.

From what I know from school, BPD is characterized from an intense fear of abandonment, intense relationships, self-sabotaging behavior, and an inability to see oneself as the root of one's problems. People with BPD also tend to either idealize others or scream and yell at them and think the other person is worthless. They have very extreme views of others. I think that you are more self-aware than most people with BPD. So if this is indeed what you have, you have a much great chance of making progress than the people who think that their problems are caused by everyone else's bad behavior.

I don't mean to suggest that other people don't act badly. Of course they do. But part of getting healthier is recognizing that destructive choices cause you more pain. As you get healthier, you learn to get away and stay away from people who make you feel badly about yourself.

Anyway, learning more about your own condition can give you tremendous insight into it. I'm worried about you diagnosing yourself because personality disorders in general are very intense situations. You can have low self-esteem and self-destrutive behavior without being Borderline. I've wondered if I'm Borderline at times. But you don't want to label yourself. That could make you feel worse.

I can't remember if you are in therapy right now. I don't think that you are. Can you see a therapist to find a diagnosis and get a treatment plan for your situation. This could help you a lot. With the right therapist, someone with Borderline who wants to change can make amazing progress.

Take Care,

MariaC