Wish things would get better....

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2003
Wish things would get better....
1
Sat, 12-06-2003 - 3:04am
I just want to sleep all night and all day so I don't have to deal with reality. Dreaming seems so much better than all of this. I'm tired of stressing about money and debt, wondering when we will catch up financially. I ran out of my medication for depression last week, and I can't afford the 3 months supply my insurance company forces me to buy it in. My husband only has an hourly job right now and I am miserable at my hourly job. I have a job interview next week, but I am scared to leave my current job because I have been there so long and I may hate a new one even more and I don't know if I am in the right frame of mind to begin a new job. I only have a 2 year degree, can't get a real paying job. I tried to go back to school, but due to the hour drive, fights with my husband, and taking care of my daughter, I had to drop out. My daughter (2 years old) has a rare disorder which causes her to get fevers for no apparent reason of over 105 degrees every month. Her next "episode" will likely start on Christmas Eve. The disorder (or disease) is so new and unresearched that her pediatrician had never even heard of it. I found out about it by doing research on the internet and had to insist on seeing a specialist. She probably will not outgrow this for at least ten years. My only options are steroids or a tonsilectomy....neither is guaranteed to help and the steroids may make it worse. Luckily there is a Yahoo group with over 200 members whose kids have the same disorder so we know we are not alone. I just want her to be happy and healthy, and I need to be able to be a good Mom. I can only do that by being happy myself. I never pictured my life being in such a state at my age (32). I feel like I could be a better Mom to her if I get my act together. Thanks for listening!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2007
Sat, 12-06-2003 - 9:57am

(((((((((((((4mynug)))))))))))))))), I just want to tell you how terrific I think you are!

 

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