What's the worst part?

Avatar for legs2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
What's the worst part?
45
Sat, 12-06-2003 - 8:40am
All, I would like some insight into this thing called depression. It makes me feel less alone to ask questions like this, so bear with me.

I have been thinking about this illness we deal with. I have been in many studies and it is good in that I am contributing to the data about how to fix us and it is bad in that it often open wounds.

Things associated with depression:

Fatigue

Hopelessness

Sadness

Worthlessness

Lack of appetite

Becoming less social

Sighing, yawning

Unable to fulfil daily activities

Memory issues

Motivational problems

Apathetic-ness

Loss of sex drive

Lethargy

Crying

Feelings life is not worth living

Getting easily aggitated

Restlessness

Too much sleep

Too little sleep

Wow, no wonder diagnosis is hard. (My apologies for poor spelling too)(Maybe that is the depression...nope...just a poor speller...lol)

So here is my question. If you have read this far.

What is the worst part for you?

I am not fond of being a member of the "who needs a shower? " club.

I hate that I used to be an up person, who was positive all the time and now....

I hate that I used to always get the little things done..

I hate that I have to force myself to eat every darn morsel of food that I take in...

But this is me...I will post my worst part in a seperate post.

What is the worst part for you?

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Avatar for legs2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 12-06-2003 - 8:53am
Well, I have changed my answer about 12 times. I forgot one of the symptoms is indecision. LOL. It is actually one of them.

I thought I would answer that my social life is non-existant, and that was the worst part, withdrawling from everyone, but I think it is caused by my lack of motivation.

I was the instigator in college. I got the people together to go out or to the movies. Or I got my friends to come over and chill out at my place, but now I have no motivation. I am lucky if I see, or if I HAVE any friends. I just don't have the energy. I don't have the motivation.

I am sort of an accomplished person. I used to get things done. Now, I just can't seem to get off of my fanny to do anything of use. My apartment is a disaster. My files for my finances are even worse...not a good thing when trying to not destroy my credit rating. I am just not the "go,go,go" person I used to be. I was so motivated to make myself better, to help the world's problems, to help my friends....and now. I just don't.

Motivation...or lack there of is my worst part.

Thanks for reading and answering this.

Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.

Take care,

Lisa-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2007
Sat, 12-06-2003 - 9:05am

Hi, (((((((((((Lisa)))))))))))!


Yes, I think this beast represents different things to different people.

 

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CL-ladybug987

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sat, 12-06-2003 - 9:17am
Hmmmm. the worse part. Like you Lisa, I have changed my answer about 12 times. I think I would have to say the worse part for me is the constant battle of fighting the suicidal thoughts. Debbie
Avatar for legs2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 12-06-2003 - 10:55am
Barb, you are so right, so many of these things are quite related, or lead into the other. I used to be such a passionate person, but apathy has leaked in, because of my not having motivation? Or perhaps some other reason?

I also like the one word explaination of inertia. Besides being amazed that anyone can spell that word, lol, I agree that it is an excellent word to describe that feeling. You are clearly a bright lady.

Glad to have you here on the board.

Thanks for answering my question.

Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.

Take care,

Lisa-)

Avatar for legs2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 12-06-2003 - 11:02am
Debbie, I agree, if that is your current battle, those horrible dark thoughts, that that would be tops on the list. I so wish those thoughts weren't with you, but I am glad we are here for you. I am also very, VERY, VERY GLAD that you are still with us.

Good luck with your new therapy.

Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.

Take care,

Lisa-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Sat, 12-06-2003 - 6:53pm

Lisa,

Avatar for legs2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 12-06-2003 - 11:43pm
Trac, in the many studies I have been in they have an inventory that asks about concentration and decisiveness.....and I could not pay attention to answer the one and could not decide on the other. Or at least that is how I would keep my humor with the endless questions I had to answer.

Good news, I have found my small brain, now if only I can get the larger one in gear, then.....

My little mind has returned, the mice did not take it.

Wait did I say that already? Can't concentrate and can't decide on how to tell you about it.lol

Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.

Take care,

Lisa-)

PS I now have one of those planners, got one at my new job...I'll let you know if it helps.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 12-07-2003 - 12:26am

I think the hardest part for me is that I often feel like I'm just completely insane. It feels like my emotions don't make any sense and nobody understands and I just feel like a freak of nature or something. It took me a long time to stop feeling bad that I needed meds to help me feel better..


Jenn









iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Sun, 12-07-2003 - 12:51am

Lisa,


First, I want to apologize for my post to roll call today.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Sun, 12-07-2003 - 8:55am

Lisa!

What an awesome question as always!!! You have tremendous insight into things you know that? *smile


I think for me when I look back to when I was as my worst, the hardest thing for me was motivation and being less social... Basically I withdrew from the world and was soo hard because I AM a People person and I was SOOO active up until the Depression the hit..


Now I have to say that since getting my Depression undercontrol and being back to "normal" more or less (what ever normal "IS" but thats another story) anyway I think now my worst symptom is "Worthlessness"


I KNOW im a good person and have so much to offer,, but sometimes that gremlin just gets in my head and I fall apart and cant help but think that im not worth anything in this world..... grrrrrrrrrrrr

I have already made a resolution to fight that gremlin with everything I have next year!


*hugs             

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