What's the worst part?

Avatar for legs2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
What's the worst part?
45
Sat, 12-06-2003 - 8:40am
All, I would like some insight into this thing called depression. It makes me feel less alone to ask questions like this, so bear with me.

I have been thinking about this illness we deal with. I have been in many studies and it is good in that I am contributing to the data about how to fix us and it is bad in that it often open wounds.

Things associated with depression:

Fatigue

Hopelessness

Sadness

Worthlessness

Lack of appetite

Becoming less social

Sighing, yawning

Unable to fulfil daily activities

Memory issues

Motivational problems

Apathetic-ness

Loss of sex drive

Lethargy

Crying

Feelings life is not worth living

Getting easily aggitated

Restlessness

Too much sleep

Too little sleep

Wow, no wonder diagnosis is hard. (My apologies for poor spelling too)(Maybe that is the depression...nope...just a poor speller...lol)

So here is my question. If you have read this far.

What is the worst part for you?

I am not fond of being a member of the "who needs a shower? " club.

I hate that I used to be an up person, who was positive all the time and now....

I hate that I used to always get the little things done..

I hate that I have to force myself to eat every darn morsel of food that I take in...

But this is me...I will post my worst part in a seperate post.

What is the worst part for you?

Avatar for legs2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 12-07-2003 - 7:07pm
(((Caly)))) Excellent points, as always *wink. You are right that as you evolve through depression the worst part changes. As the meds help, or as therapy helps, the worst part will be something different than when you are in your depths.

Such a smart response! Not a surprise.

I hope that when that "worthless" gremlin comes calling that you come here and let us tell you how wonderful you are. Because we know you are worth while!!

Thanks for your thought provoking response.

Sending hugs and good thoughts your way,

Take care,

Lisa-)

Avatar for legs2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 12-07-2003 - 7:16pm
((((Traci)))) No worries about the name mistake, it happens. Good point, many of these worst parts are quite intermingled. It is hard to separate them. And hopelessness/worthlessness are hard to break apart and they are hard to let go. As for picking just one, the indecision....hehehehe that is one of the worst parts too.

Thanks for your answer.

Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.

Take care,

Lisa-)

Avatar for legs2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 12-07-2003 - 7:23pm
(((((Jenn)))))) I understand what you mean, it is hard to be an intelligent human and not have control of your own brain. Frustrating to say the least. And you mentioned yet another symptom I did not put on the list: guilt. Are there too many of these things or what????

Thanks for the answer.

Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.

Take care,

Lisa-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2003
Sun, 12-07-2003 - 9:34pm

hi...i am new to this board but not new to depression.

Smoochdog (aka Michelle)


Avatar for karenmrh
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2003
Sun, 12-07-2003 - 10:00pm
Hello Friends:

Well I think you all have touched on things pretty well. I suppose the worst for me is never being able to predict anything. Not what I will be feeling or acting like or my energy level. I spend all my mental energy trying to do EXACTLY what I should be doing, despite all the "noise" that is my thoughts, my emotions, and my life. I'm only managing to keep it all together about half the time. I think.

Maybe the worst part is that this has been going on so long, that I don't know who I am anymore. I don't see any future except the present.

KarenMRH

Avatar for legs2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 12-07-2003 - 10:28pm
Michelle, I do understand. Just the other day I apologized to one of my best friends for pulling away from her emotionally. I withdraw too, and you are lucky to have a sweetie who supports you. Try not to be too hard on yourself, he obviously loves you and is willing to give you what you need. But it is easy to feel bad about it....I understand that too.

Thanks for your answer to my question.

Welcome to the board.

Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.

Take care,

Lisa-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2003
Sun, 12-07-2003 - 11:23pm
Hmmm...

I have to agree with everyone here, on what "erks" them about depression. I hate not being able to control my feelings and emotions. I hate the suicidal thoughts. I hate the feeling of worthlessness. I hate having to remember to take my meds regularly. I hate having to take anxiety meds. I hate having to go to the therapist. I hate crying about EVERYTHING. I hate forgetting stupid things like having to go to a meeting, or getting a report. I hate everything about depression. It really sucks. So, I can't answer your question because there's not one thing that bothers me about depression. It's literally everything. But at least you have a list now!

Good question, crappy answer!

Love ya!

Trix

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 12-08-2003 - 10:27am
I'd have to say Apathy...just not caring about anyone or anything. I think this is the cause of a lot I felt (or didn't feel), like not getting out of bed, not returning calls from friends/family, not keeping in touch with people, not eating much (didn't care if I starved, etc), not taking care of myself (the good ol' "no shower" club, lol), etc etc. I think apathy covers a lot of my day-to-day crud. That or laziness!

Great question (((((Lisa))))). I find myself analyzing and trying to give reasons a lot too.

Love & Hugs,

Rebecca

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
Mon, 12-08-2003 - 10:38am
Depression is such a dark place and it can affect people all differently but however it affects someone it is never in a good way and it takes something precious from us all.

The thing it takes from me is my ability to make good choices. It takes away my independance in being able to work and hold down a job to support myself. It drains my energy. It really affects my whole life. Somedays I feel like it will swallow me whole. Sometimes I can't think about anything except what is making me frieghtened or causeing the depression. I hate when I can't figure out what to do to make things better.

The other thing is my body will only accept meds for a short time, 3-8 months and then the doctors need to change them. I get immuned very quick. I am BiPolarII and I have mixed states. I can go on a rollercoaster ride everyday. Up an down. Sometimes I am hypomanic and feel great for a while but irritated. Then there are my suicidal thoughts days. Those are the worst. I am heading there now and trying not to. The worst part is I will always have this illness. I am hoping someday very soon it will become more managable for me and the doctors to control.

I wish everyone all the best. Take care and stay safe!

Tina~

 
Avatar for all_girls4me
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-08-2003 - 11:59am
The worst part...oh boy...where do I start.

1. I don't get enjoyment out of things anymore

2. I have no patience

3. I have no sex drive

4. I'm anti social, which I really hate. I always was an outgoing person. Now I rather be at home and not talk to anybody. A lot of times I don't even answer the phone.



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