Confused and Concerned
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| Sun, 12-07-2003 - 9:52am |
I knew he was depressed about not having a job (he graduated with an MBA in May and has been looking for work ever since, although he has a full-time contract position). But I didn’t realize the depth of his depression. He’s felt this way since 13 and has never sought real help. He has run away from life by taking off and traveling the world. His excuse for not seeking help is that he doesn’t have the money (he’s in huge debt from school) and that he’s worried that it will impact his ability to get a job in the future if he’s been in therapy. I’ve told him there are places he can go that he can afford, but I’m not sure he’s going to follow-up.
I care deeply for this man and don’t know what else I can do to help. He is all alone. He doesn’t have strong family support and no really close friends. He has not spoken with anyone about this and I feel he is in deep crisis. He is pushing me away, like he does with all relationships, but I don’t feel like that is what he really wants. I know that he can’t be in a relationship right now, but I can’t just walk away. And I feel like I abandoned him because I gave him back all the stuff he had at my apartment. When we spoke on Thursday it was for 4 hours, he didn’t seem to want the night to end, but he also didn’t ask for me to stick around. Since then, I’ve left him an email message on Friday and a voicemail on Saturday, just to check in and see how he is doing, but he’s not responding to me. I don’t know whether it’s better to keep trying to make contact with him or to let him breathe and think about the things I���ve told him. I’m pretty sure he won’t commit suicide (we spoke a lot about this when we talked) but I know he's very much in need of both medical and therapist help.
I’m going to see a therapist on Tuesday to try to sort out my feeling of concerns vs. loss of a relationship that was very good for me (I thought I would marry this person). But until then I just have these thoughts running around in my head and I don’t know what to do. Do I keep trying to contact him and tell him that I care? Or will the pressure of that just push him away more? I want so much to get him help.

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