Friends?
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| Mon, 12-08-2003 - 4:22am |
I was just wondering about "friends".
I seem to have some, but apparently not the right ones.
They make plans with me to do something, then I cant get ahold of them, and find out they were out with other friends doing the same thing we were supposed to do?
Or they are just too busy to return my calls or email, and when they do I dont get a word in about me, we only ever talk about them?
Other friends I have stopped seeing all together because they constantly made me feel bad about myself like I was too boring or too single for them although they had nothing of interest to say either??
I am a kind, calm, supportive person, and they can always find me when they need someone to talk to or moral support to go somewhere they have to go but dont wanna go alone......But none of them are there for me? Why?
Im tired of not being on the top of anyones list, people seem to only call when they need something or their other friends are out of town
Help me understand
Is it just me or what?

These are "topical" friends..the ones that are more into themselves and I would bet are far more imature than yourself.
Im not sure of your age, but I know in my twenties it was "party friends" and ones that really when you needed them..werent there.
Than as I hit more towards 30 I found friends ( a big whopping 1) LOL that was there for me through it all.
If you are dating someone..does he listen? I know when you find the right guy or gal..your friends arent your life blood anymore..your mate becomes your confidant..your bestfriend.
Hang in hon..stop being suckered by losers..find a new group (I know easier said than done) that will be there for you.
Hugs to you..
L
Take care
Pamela
I have done and would do almost anything for the people that I love ,but I myself have suffered great dissapointment from friends who I thought probably should have been there for me but weren't. These people probably arn't conciously aware, there is much ignorance and selfishness in todays society. People are so caught up in themselves and that is all they are interested in.
You your self have a special quality of compassion and caring ,stay that way only good will come of it. Don't have expectations of people..or you will be dissapointed.
There are good people out there,just not in great numbers.There are many caring people in this group.I would like to write more but I must go off to work. Bye, Doug.
I needed to hear that, "its not me". I have been walked on by friends all my life because I am a good listener so I wasnt sure if maybe it was me or them.......now i see its them, friendship is supposed to go both ways and I am doing my part.
You just start to wonder sometimes if I am being jealous they went out with someone else or being petty......but after reading it a fresh I see now I SHOULD expect better treatment....and I am going to talk to them about it. Im not going to confront them, I am just going to say how Im feeling and why they can take it from there. Least I will know I did the right thing for myself
BTw Im 44 and happily single so I wont be counting on that "right guy" lol, I dont think they just show up at your door do they?....lol I dont get out much and am unable to work so I cant imagine where I would meet HIM, or make a new group of friends......but thanks, good suggestions
HI Doug
Thanks for your words too, Yes, I am finally learning to not expect much from people sad though it may be. I can only control what I do. I am not going to change me because as we know .....two wrongs dont make a right.....LOL cliche but true
I do know they dont realize they are like this and would be upset if they knew how often they do it......not just to me......once I have my little chat with them , they will be a little wiser, I hope.
Hope ya had a good day at work
Unfortunately, most "friends" are really just acquaintances or superficial friends. And unfortunately your friend's behavior is way too common, however is common. If it's you, then it's that you are the exception, not the problem. As a wise friend once told me, "expect nothing, then anything you get will be a pleasant surprise". You may have to be the one that keeps everyone else on the schedule, but do it only because you choose to, not because you have to. If you want to go out with them, then keep in touch with them every day or hour, as needed. I can't help but believe, that after having to do this repeatedly you are going to see them in a different light and you yourself will withdraw from the relationship. Enough...
Except...lol. I was about your age (42) when I met my husband...at work. By the way, he is almost 20 years younger than me....we have been married for 12 years now and I would swear he is at least my age.....lol. Just a thought.