Oh the irony...good news, but...
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| Mon, 12-08-2003 - 3:52pm |
I say to myself, I shouldn't have such mixed feelings about a piece of really good news. But my dad asked me recently, what exactly would I be doing as a doctor...have my own office (I hate being in offices)? Work in a lab (I don't enjoy that at all either)? I know there are a lot of options within medicine, but I think it would be a good idea to have some clue as to what I would enjoy.
As it is, I can't see myself enjoying much of anything...I've applied for some more medical-type jobs, which really don't appeal to me...and I will be doing a day of catering work with a temp agency...which sounds even worse. I guess it's true, as my mom said at the family meeting, that photography is really the only thing I've enjoyed consistently...I would rather be doing that than most other things, I think...but I still don't know if I would enjoy that long-term, be intellectually challenged, feel like I was contributing to the world, etc...
OK, sorry to ramble, I guess I'm still just confused. And now in a bit more pain than usual, because in trying to lose some weight, I just went for a 45-minute jog...ow! Thanks for listening...and I guess my mood has improved a bit today, though I still see no reason for me to be here...I think it being "that time of the month" made my mood recently worse than normal.
Rose

Maybe try making a chart of the pros and cons of taking the trip. Mayeb write the pros and cons of your future job. Sounds like you don't know what you want to be when you grow up....it's ok...me neither, let's struggle together, ok??
I am sorry, not very good advise, but this is stuff you have to figure out for yourself. Sounds like you are questioning it correctly. Keep at it, maybe it will come to you soon.
Sorry not doing to well today.
Hope you are drinking lots of water if you are trying to lose weight.
Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.
Take care,
Lisa-)
If you went into medicine, you could travel and help underprivileged people in other countries. You could help underprivileged people in the US. You could work primarily with women. You could go in psychiatry and help people who are struggling with emotional and physical exhaustion, like what you have dealt with. There are many option.
Offices don't have to be so bad. You could have one with skylights and beautiful decor. If you are the boss, you get to do it however you want to do it.
I have an awesome female doctor. She is amazing and helps me so much. My last doctor was incredible as well. It's great when women become doctors who are caring, down-to-earth, and fun to talk to. Both of those doctors are now role models for me as a therapist.
Just some thoughts. I'm glad that you still have such great options open.
Picking your profession is very stressful. If you feel like you'd be miserable for the rest of med school, then you shouldn't go that route. However, if you like school, there are so many things you can do once you have your MD.
Take Care,
MariaC
I agree, it's hard not knowing what you want to be when you "grow up." My therapist also suggested making a pros and cons list...but for me, I feel like the decision has to come from my "gut," whether it's logical or not. Then again, my gut feeling changes from minute to minute! I hope some answer does come soon, though, because I do have some decisions to make in the next little while.
I think I overdid it with that exercise...I normally don't do strenuous aerobic exercise, but yesterday I did 45 minutes of jogging (with a bit of walking), and also lifted light weights. So today I was really sleepy and tired and have begun getting a cold. Somehow I think this might have affected my emotional health, too...I went to see my therapist basically suicidal, and have to go back to check in with her tomorrow.
Thanks for listening, and caring...hopefully we can figure all these decisions out together!
Rose
I'm glad your doctor has been so great...I think some of the bad ones have turned me off a little bit to the profession...but still, when I run into or hear of good doctors, it makes me want to enter that career more.
I do like school a lot, although I'm not sure how I would deal with the huge amount of emotional and physical stress of med school...much less the long, long hours and stressful decision-making of residency. I know my physical health definitely improves or declines depending on stress...and I think my emotional health, too...though right now, I'm stressed because I DON'T have anything much to do! Can't ever please me, I guess!
My therapist and parents are kind of pulling me a bit towards something other than med school, something more creative like photography, which I also have felt a desire to do. I worry that in med school, I would get annoyed with the fact that everyone has to learn exactly the same things, and there is always one "right" answer for questions about diagnosis, etc...if that makes sense.
Today my therapist was talking about how mentally healthy people have been shown to choose environments that suit their personalities...that it is not necessarily bad to be sensitive like I am, but that some careers might be a better fit for me than others based on my sensitivity. It is very true that I am horrible about handling any criticism (I immediately think of self-harm), and I can't imagine how I would face the (hypothetical) situation when I made a decision that wasn't best for a patient, or even a mistake that cost someone his life (which of course I pray I would never do). I think I might end my own life then, too.
Then again...argh, this horrible back-and-forth!...I miss more than anything being part of a community, being a student, having a plan and assignments and people in my situation around me. I didn't think I would miss this so much, but I do...I guess I am a true nerd in that sense...I even let it slip that I wished I had final exams to take! And I have a strong desire to be "useful" to other people, to contribute to society...so maybe medicine is right for me...I just don't know.
I know this is yet another long and complicated post, so if you don't have time to reply, it's ok. But thank you for your helpful thoughts...really, they have made me consider once more that maybe I should go into medicine...I just wish I could predict the future! In the past month, I've gone from hyper, high-energy to depressed and suicidal more than once...and I just can't imagine that this cycle would be a good characteristic for a doctor to have...and I can't seem to get these emotions under any kind of control. But maybe something will change...
Thanks again,
Rose