HELP!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2003
HELP!!
Thu, 12-11-2003 - 12:31pm


Good Afternoon:

As I already posted I'm moving on February to Boston. (Sorry for my english). At this moment I'm like in a kind of a roller coaster. Although I'm under treatment but haven't see my dr for two months since I left for vacaction and then she went for vacaction, there are moments (hours) during the day in wich I feel HORRIBLE I feel lik eI wnna dissapear and have no contact with anyone I know. I don't want no pressure, noone telling me what I should or shouldn't do. I wich I can stop time and begin everything again. On these days I have had the pressure of selling everything at my apartment to be able to move and cause I need money (URGENTLY) to pay some debts I have that are now in court. On these days I also have discovered that my ex boyfriend (the one that I have most love and we just break up about a month 1/2 ago) is going out with someone else already. I feel so alone (as I already told you) I have noone here in Puerto Rico. My brothers don't care about me. And with the holidays, I'm just gonna be isolated in my apartment since I don't have any friends left. My father is coming to P.R from New Jersey on dec 18 and is going to stay at a hotel but since he has not care even a bit about myself, not even when I've been hospitalized I DON'T wanna see him. I don't wanna share time with noone. I wanna isolate myself EXTREMELY, tht's what I want now.

With all this I have another problem at work (although I'm leaving work on January). There's a co-worker who lives near me. I use to give her ride in the morning and on the afternoon. But she told me that she was using drugs and she was always a pain in the !@#$%. So I discused the situation with my dr and decided that I should stop giving her the ride home. So now she's pretty mad because of that and have been molesting me at work and the other day I couldn't resist it no more and tol my supervisor who decided to talk in private wwith the manager of the dept also (both of them haven't been cooperative with me and have treated me like I have no value on the dept since I have been hospitalized for my depressions. They were pretty mad at me and were like trying to pretend that I was paranoid with this girl (my co-worker). Because of that I got pretty angry and told them the whole truth about this person (including the drug thing).

Today I saw that the manager and supervisor were calling her to the manager's office. These situation is adding more stress to my life (although I know I shouldn't told them the drug thing) because she knows were I live, she lives near me and my car stays outside the whole night and she's a person who likes to take revenge. If you have any advice for my whole life I will appreciate it, cause now I feel like dying. I don't even have the energy to do the things I use to do even at home. I just wanna sleep. And If I could sleep for ever.