Do I need to see a psychologist?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2003
Do I need to see a psychologist?
5
Fri, 12-12-2003 - 10:25am
Hi everyone... this is my first post, also the first time I've actually talked about this. I'm posting because I have no idea if what I feel is normal or not, as I don't know anyone who's "officially" depressed and depression in general is frowned upon in my family. If you don't like long things, I don't mind if you skip, cuz I think it'll be long!

I know I haven't been the most stable of people, and in high school I preferred being a loner. I was depressed a lot, but I put that down to being a normal teenager and I was really really hung up on this guy which was an entirely unreasonable thing to do.

I thought my problems would go away once I entered university. I made a genuine effort to socialise and I did manage to scrounge up a group of people that I said more than hi to, but the hold on these people were so tenuous that I lost contact with them once I got a boyfriend.

Here are a few things that has made me wonder if I am depressed:

* I do find it an incredible effort to socialise. I feel like my stomach is this big hollow pit and I feel disgusted about socialising.

* My close friend count right now is exactly one. And he is possibly the most unsympathetic person I've ever met. I think I just throroughly insulted him and pushed him away, so I don't know if we're gonna be good friends now.

* I have a boyfriend who is the only person in the world unrelated to me that I feel comfortable with.

* My mum contracted lung cancer 2 years ago. I pray for her every night, but I'm really worried all the time.

* My marks at university have been declining, as is my interest in the subject and for the people in it. Yes, I am normally a high achiever type who got lovely grades until this year. I study a highly competitive course where the people I know mostly get decent to excellent results.

* I do think my mum's favourite is my sister... while I've always let it be, occasionally events do hit a raw nerve.

Anyway, things come to a head every month with my period. Is this normal? I only noticed the pattern recently, as did my poor long-suffering boyfriend. Just before my period, I go on an emotional rampage. I've attempted to insult my boyfriend enough to break up with me several times (he hasn't - what a man), I've insulted the above one good friend that I do have (I don't think he is that patient to stick around much longer), or I contemplate changing my degree of study. All in all, my head's a mess in this period and I got emotions running around everywhere.

Most horrible is the anti-socialism. Its not so bad some days, but others (like now), I can't bear to move. I don't want to see anyone but my boyfriend, and I seriously wish all my existing friends (and people in general) would disappear.

Does anyone out there have advice on how to deal with this? Even knowing that I lose it before my period hasn't stopped me from doing disasterous, spontaneous things. I don't have anyone to talk to, and I don't discuss this with my boyfriend. I feel really lonely, but at the same time I don't want to see people. It has been getting worse this year.

I thought about seeing a shrink, but I don't know anyone that does that! It all seems kind of melodramatic, too serious for me. You think?

If you've reached here, I applaud you so much *hugs*. Thank you for reading my rants, and thanks for any advice you might give me. If you do, could you please email it to me striderwho@hotmail.com? I have a terrible memory and I might just forget I did this tomorrow.

Cheers for everybody here,

Jenny.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Fri, 12-12-2003 - 7:23pm

Welcome to the board!!


AHHHHHHH PMS hehee its that time of the month when NOTHING is right with the world hun... you are totally normal there hehe..


As far as depression goes, I would suggest you take one of the depression screening quizzes here at IVillage as a start. http://quiz.ivillage.com/health/tests/depression.htm


If they come back positive for depression LOL then you may want to go talk to your family doctor.. which you may want to do anyway about your PMS..there are lots of treatment options available for both problems..


Most of all feel free to post here all you like! having a chance to talk to people who "know" what you are going thru helps alot trust me!


*hugs             

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2003
Sat, 12-13-2003 - 7:43am
Thanks a lot =). Do people normally talk about this stuff with people they know in real life? I guess that might help huh? *shrug*, hehe. I've managed to weasel out of all social engagements for the next 2 weeks with brain dead excuses, hopefully that will do me some good. Though I think my friend count is now 0! Oh dear.

Cheers =).

Jenny.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Sat, 12-13-2003 - 9:12am

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm thats a good question hun..


Depression is generally not viewed with the stigma that it use to be so in some ways talking about can be a good thing to certain people.. but unfortunately for the most part people will think you can "just get over it" or wont understand what you have to be depressed about.. soo you need to prepare yourself for peoples reactions when you bring it up..


I have to say getting out of ALL social engagements is NOT a good thing.. I know you may not be in the mood.. but isolation breeds isolation and in the long run you wont feel better in 2 weeks you will feel worse Im afraid..


I would try to maybe go to at least one or 2 things each week if you can.. Either pick things where there are large gatherings and you can float around and just take it in if you dont want to do a lot of socializing.. or head out with one or 2 close friends who maybe you can be honest with about how you have been feeling..


Sending lots of support and caring

*hugs

*hugs             

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-15-2003 - 9:56pm

I was wondering if you have heard of social anxiety disorder?

    CL for The

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Tue, 12-16-2003 - 2:19pm
I would suggest seeing a doctor. You sound a lot like I did this time last year. I just graduated from college and my last 2 semesters my grades dropped and I rarely went to class. But normally I loved school. I also wished my friends and everyone would just disappear so I spent a lot of time in my dorm room and slept. Everyday, all day, usually through meals. Even my boyfriend, who is really my only friend annoyed me. I finally broke down and went to the campus couselor when I started getting the suicidal thoughts. I couldn't ignore it any longer after that. You might want to check and see if your school has one. I went to a small school, so I assume most schools do. As for your family, pooh on them. If they can't understand that this is beyond your control then they have issues (no offense). People act like depression is something that can be shrugged off, that it's the person's fault they are depressed. Believe me, I'm sure that most people with depression would really prefer not to have depression. Lots of people in my family have depression so it's not such a big deal to be going to a doctor. Anyway, just explain to them that it's just like any other sickness. They wouldn't have problems if you had a thyroid problem or some other hormone problem, would they? This is exactly the same, only in your brain. But don't worry about them. Just do what you need to do to feel better. I hope that you can get better and bring your grades up, and have a functioning life again.