(trigger) I need help with parents.(LONG

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
(trigger) I need help with parents.(LONG
2
Fri, 12-12-2003 - 3:39pm
My mother is mentally ill, Im sure shes depressed she told one of my friends

(friend lived with us on and off (during highschool) when she didnt like the rules of her own house and stays with my parents whenever shes in town because she can get away with murder.) that she spent days on the sofa feeling like she couldnt get up, my sister just told me yesterday that a couple of years ago my sister was on the phone and and my mom asked her to get off and two seconds later turned around and started screaming at her and punching her in the head. she is used to be really nice and easy to talk to but more and more she is becoming absolutely impossible to talk to,she doesnt seem to be rational at all and she does things like she makes a big deal and wont watch my dog for a night but will watch friends dog for a couple of days because friend will be out partying and wont return until she feels like it. Im 27 and have been with the same guy for almost 5 years, whenever talk of kids comes up she gets really mad and tells us never to have children they ruin your life. Basically if it ruins her party(she drinks all the time, and smokes a lot of pot) she wants nothing to do with it.

She had a lot of really ugly stuff happen to her, Im not sure exactly what(she has told friend some stuff who then tells me.) and ran away from home when she was 15, so Im sure there is lots of it. When I went on meds after 13 years of being manic depressive

she freaked out on me and told me that I was stupid cos there was nothing wrong with me and I would ruin my brain and liver and blah blah blah. yet one of friends friends goes on them and she says "well you need to balance out the chemicals" and is all for it.

Basically she is an awful person now and she wasnt always and I can actually see her getting sicker and sicker, she drinks a lot, and doesnt eat much.

So with that bit of background I need to know this: how do you sit your mother down and explain to her that she needs to get help? Any mention of mental illness and she freaks

(her brother is schizoprenic) do we talk to my dad, and hope that he can see the changes?

do I talk to our family doctor? Its just I really dont know how to handle this or approach this, as she is rarely rational any more. If I could get any advice at all I would really really love you for it.

Thanks in advance.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2007
Fri, 12-12-2003 - 4:20pm

Dear Spacemouse,


It's clear to me that despite everything that has happened you still care deeply about your mother and are saddened by the deterioration you see.

 

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CL-ladybug987

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Fri, 12-12-2003 - 5:16pm
Thank you Barb,

I already had a Dr. appt for Monday so I will bring it up then.

Surprisingly my parents are still married. I think my dad sort of knows whats going on, but is also sort of in denial, he is one person around her(he is mostly quiet-he wasnt when I was little- but has said things like "your mom had a horrible childhood" he has admitted that she has a drinking problem as well which isnt every day but when she does drink she doesnt know when to stop), but another when its just me and him(very generous, takes us out for lunch, tells us he wishes things were different)

I will let you know what happens.

Thanks again.