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| Wed, 12-17-2003 - 12:38am |
i need a little support. i have so many good things going in my life, but others are just pulling me down to the point where i feel like i can't breathe. i have felt so sick lately. my stomach has been especially bad (i do have a stomach disorder, and i feel stress in my stomach as well). my immediate and extended family are all falling apart. the only cousin that was left who was normal and having a happy life has a baby that just got out of the hospital. i feel like everyone hates me, although i bet that is part of the depression kicking in. i don't want to talk to anyone about how i am feeling because i am tired of being physically and emotionally sick and having family problems and i have lost friends in the past because of all of it. i just want people to think i am normal for once.
i got a new job, but i don't know why. i wanted to work at this new health club by my house, then i was hired by the chain of clubs but to work at a different one. this one i will need to either take the bus which is not always fun in downtown or spend money on cabs (about double bus fare) on top of this, i have to work as a trainer and with my stomach i panic when i know i HAVE to be somewhere- that i can't go to the bathroom or home. when i know i can leave, i am fine to stay. but when i am training someone i can't, and i feel all of my anxiety and depression going crazy. i will stop now, i am sure no one wants to hear about the details of my life, and i won't make you read anymore.

(((((((((((((((((((((((Sweetie, )))))))))))))))))))))
Are you being actively treated for your stomach problem? Do you take meds for it? Do you take meds for anxiety? I am sure having the stomach problems you do can be fraustrating. If you are able to ask your doctor about something for stress maybe that will help your stomach problems some if anxiety triggers it to act up.
You say you have positive things going on and that is great. You have things you can be grateful for. I understand what you mean about taking the bus. I always hated it, especially in the city. Can you keep trying to get that position by your house even though you have this new job with the chain? Being a trainer at a gym sounds like alot of fun. Helping people reach their goals in health. It sounds like you are a strong person who has some goals set and you are trying to move forward, pat yourself on the back for that.
I know sometimes we post things and no on responds, but I am sure it isn't on purpose or because no one cares. Sometimes people don't know how to put into words what they want to say or they are feeling so down they can get the positive words to say. It can be alot of reasons but don't think we don't care. We are all here to get support and we all would love to support another if we can. So hang in there and keep posting.
Tina~
I really admire your getting a new job even when you are dealing with so much anxiety...I can relate to a lot of what you said, even the stomach problems (I have a hiatal hernia that acts up when I'm anxious). I'm not sure what advice to give you since I'm dealing with similar problems myself...but I found out recently that it does get easier with practice...maybe just see how the first day goes, and then move on from there...taking a day, or a training session, or a few minutes at a time.
I do care about what happens to you, and it's not a waste of my time to read about your life. Please take care, and keep us updated on how you're doing.
Rose
((((((((((((((((voguegirl15))))))))))))))))))))))
Hon, I'm sorry I missed your last post.
I have been scarce around the board lately.
I am thinking of you and don't care if you write a whole book about your life. I'll read it!
Take care sweetie
Pamela