anyone there?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
anyone there?
5
Wed, 12-17-2003 - 12:38am
well, i was bummed before because i posted and no one responded. i know that happens, and i am sure that no one noticed, i needed someone to care. not a guilt trip! just i hope at least one person answers this time....

i need a little support. i have so many good things going in my life, but others are just pulling me down to the point where i feel like i can't breathe. i have felt so sick lately. my stomach has been especially bad (i do have a stomach disorder, and i feel stress in my stomach as well). my immediate and extended family are all falling apart. the only cousin that was left who was normal and having a happy life has a baby that just got out of the hospital. i feel like everyone hates me, although i bet that is part of the depression kicking in. i don't want to talk to anyone about how i am feeling because i am tired of being physically and emotionally sick and having family problems and i have lost friends in the past because of all of it. i just want people to think i am normal for once.

i got a new job, but i don't know why. i wanted to work at this new health club by my house, then i was hired by the chain of clubs but to work at a different one. this one i will need to either take the bus which is not always fun in downtown or spend money on cabs (about double bus fare) on top of this, i have to work as a trainer and with my stomach i panic when i know i HAVE to be somewhere- that i can't go to the bathroom or home. when i know i can leave, i am fine to stay. but when i am training someone i can't, and i feel all of my anxiety and depression going crazy. i will stop now, i am sure no one wants to hear about the details of my life, and i won't make you read anymore.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
In reply to: voguegirl15
Wed, 12-17-2003 - 1:29am

(((((((((((((((((((((((Sweetie, )))))))))))))))))))))

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
In reply to: voguegirl15
Wed, 12-17-2003 - 1:57am
(((((HUGS))))) Sounds like you are feeling pretty overwhelmed from your anxiety. Yes, feeling depressed will make you feel like no one likes you or cares. I was wondering if you see a therapist? Having a person you can talk to who isn't your friends or family, can help. I am sure your family and friends care but when they don't know what to do friends and family can feel overwhelmed and shy away from us. A therapist would be good. If you are already seeing one does he/she know how you are feeling? It sounds like you need someone who will be on your side and help you with self esteem and coping skills for the stress and anxiety. So, I hope if you are not seeing a therapist you will give it some thought so you can get support and someone outside your circle of friends and family to open up to.

Are you being actively treated for your stomach problem? Do you take meds for it? Do you take meds for anxiety? I am sure having the stomach problems you do can be fraustrating. If you are able to ask your doctor about something for stress maybe that will help your stomach problems some if anxiety triggers it to act up.

You say you have positive things going on and that is great. You have things you can be grateful for. I understand what you mean about taking the bus. I always hated it, especially in the city. Can you keep trying to get that position by your house even though you have this new job with the chain? Being a trainer at a gym sounds like alot of fun. Helping people reach their goals in health. It sounds like you are a strong person who has some goals set and you are trying to move forward, pat yourself on the back for that.

I know sometimes we post things and no on responds, but I am sure it isn't on purpose or because no one cares. Sometimes people don't know how to put into words what they want to say or they are feeling so down they can get the positive words to say. It can be alot of reasons but don't think we don't care. We are all here to get support and we all would love to support another if we can. So hang in there and keep posting.

Tina~

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: voguegirl15
Wed, 12-17-2003 - 2:19am
Hi, I just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you, and I'm sorry you're going through such a tough time. I didn't realize your last post had gone unanswered...I haven't been around much lately, between a few days of working and now just recovering from those few days!

I really admire your getting a new job even when you are dealing with so much anxiety...I can relate to a lot of what you said, even the stomach problems (I have a hiatal hernia that acts up when I'm anxious). I'm not sure what advice to give you since I'm dealing with similar problems myself...but I found out recently that it does get easier with practice...maybe just see how the first day goes, and then move on from there...taking a day, or a training session, or a few minutes at a time.

I do care about what happens to you, and it's not a waste of my time to read about your life. Please take care, and keep us updated on how you're doing.

Rose

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
In reply to: voguegirl15
Wed, 12-17-2003 - 5:57am

((((((((((((((((voguegirl15))))))))))))))))))))))


Hon, I'm sorry I missed your last post.Oh JeezI have been scarce around the board lately.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2003
In reply to: voguegirl15
Wed, 12-17-2003 - 9:10am
Sorry to have missed your last post (((voguegirl)))!

I am thinking of you and don't care if you write a whole book about your life. I'll read it!

Take care sweetie

Pamela

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