Worst Day in soooo long...need hugz...
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| Wed, 12-17-2003 - 7:18pm |
My b/f and I broke up today. Yes, again. I was running a bit late for work and he called me at the house...I felt that was odd being as I should have been at work. It made me feel as though he was up to something and making sure I wasn't home. I also could've sworn that I saw and heard his car as I was taking the dogs out. So, at lunch, I came home to see if my instincts were correct and he was passed out on the couch...an empty beer on the counter, an empty beer by the computer. I was upset, so I confronted him about it. After his DUI, he made promises to me that he would get help. Empty empty promises. He told me he had only drank twice since then. I went to his car and took out 6 empty beer bottles. Another thing that upset me. But I was more upset b/c when he called me, he told me he was on his way to Sarasota for a differant job b/c his one in Tampa was rained out, and he'd be home by 5. He lied to me, blatantly...tried to trick me. When I called him on it and told him how upset I was that he had been lying to me, he became erratic and started screaming obscenities at the top of his lungs. He threw everything he could find in his reach. He broke all bottles by slamming them on the floor. He pushed me, but didn't hurt me. He made it appear as if he were going to hit me. He kept telling me to leave and I was going to call off work and clean up the mess that he made. He threw the coffee table and everything was just broken to pieces on the floor...and I feel as though my heart is still there.
He called my work 4 times...my sisters about 9. He told everyone that he called the cops and they were there b/c he filed charges saying that I was mad b/c he was sleeping on the couch so I picked up the coffee table and threw it on top of him. I couldn't hurt a bug, for crying out loud. So, my sister called the police and had a deputy out here to talk to me. I wrote a statement about what happened and she was great about everything. I NEVER like to involve the police, I've never had to. I didn't want to today, but I'm so glad I did. Apparently, he never called the cops and was bluffing, but a deputy was sent over anyway and he wouldn't leave. He kept calling and harrassing us. I found out he had a spare key made of my car, and still has it. He took away my puppy and said I can't keep him. The deputy even had told my sister that he thought my b/f was on drugs b/c he had gone so crazy.
But this is a new beginning, and I'm (a little) thankful for that. I should have listened to you lovely ladies when you told me to just get the hell out. So, now I'm on my own I guess. Scared as hell b/c I don't know what else he would do to hurt me. He kept screaming horrible things about me. I don't know how to feel. I never thought anyone could hate me so much, but he's just not right in the head anymore and needs help. All I was doing was enabling him to be a trouble maker. This is a vicous cycle and the only way for it to end is if he's on his own and gets help.
But on a lighter side, I'll be going home for Christmas to be around all of my great friends and family. When I get back, I'll get my own apartment, and I'm excited about my first place on my own. Nobody to tell me what to do or how to feel or act. Blah. Oh well....I could just use some hugz and support. I KNOW I'll be okay in time, but I'm in a world of hurt right now. Love and hugz to all.....~Sarah~

(((((((((((((((((((((((((Sarah)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
I am so glad you are safe.
I'm so sorry you had to go through this. What he did was abuse and is illegal. You could probably obtain an order of protection against him because of what he's already done.
Ruth, Single Mom to
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Five months after leaving a horrid relationship such as yours, admiting defeat and moving in with my mother at the age of 37 finally had I come to realize that I am a great person on my own and without that particular man. I loved his 3 girls and miss them dearly but it was the most difficult year of my life being with him. I am also divorced and my daughter lives with her father now that I've moved out of state. But someplace in all of that I found acceptance of myself and place in life. In the midst of my calmness there came a woman into my life that introduced me to the most wonderful loving man I've ever known. I had to accept myself before he could come to me. I always felt I was supposed to fix or take care of the people in my relationships but now I know what it's like to take care of each other. And you will find this too.
He and I have been married 10 months now and we'll celebrate our 1st anniversary on Valentines 2004! Two years ago I never would have thought there'd be this kind of peace and happiness and love in my life but there certainly is I just had to let go first.
I know I'm not offering much to you other than knowing there is life after the turmoil.
Best wishes and happiness to you. -karen
Sarah,
I am so sorry sweetie for all that you have been thru it is horrible.
Nothing hurts more to me at least is when someone says such horrible words to you for me it hurts more than being hurt physically the bruses go away the words last alot longer.
I am glad that you are out of there he sounds like he needs alot of help with his anger and the drinking and the lying to people I know how hard it is when you love someone to have to leave them and to see what they are doing to themselves but you have to think of yourself.
I am so excited for you to be getting your own place that is awesome I have never lived alone too afraid to.
In time things will get better and you will be okay have a great time over the holiday visiting your friends and family.
Erin