Advice wanted about therapists

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Advice wanted about therapists
1
Thu, 12-18-2003 - 12:30am

I've seen 3 different therapists in the past 18 months or so. The first one actually told me to try to work things out with my abusive H because "he didn't hit me."

Ruth, Single Mom to

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2003
Thu, 12-18-2003 - 3:13am
TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS!

I think you already know the answer but I'd say to keep searching or stick with the woman but *** take more control*** of your sessions. Also tell her you'd like to continue to see her but she'll need to stick to topics that you feel are most important currently. Be firm that you are "not ready to date" until you decide that you are ready, so it's a waste of your time and money to linger on that topic. Let her know that for now you are pretty comfortable with your parenting skills if that's true. Also I wouldn't personally worry to much about the kids in bed with you. It's one of those things we all grow out of and in other countries it's not unusal for families to sleep together, it actually brings a sense of security and closeness especially when there is family strife. In the US we percieve too much weirdness associated with children in bed with mom beyond a certain age.

A good therapist should understand what is important to your immediate needs and long term goals in therapy and will try to incorporate them into what you can handle in your life for the momment to make it better until your next session.

It sounds like there is something about the woman that you've connected with and she is familar with your case but don't let that keep you from trying others if she doesn't respond to your needs.