Can we spell "STRESSED".......(triggers)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2003
Can we spell "STRESSED".......(triggers)
3
Thu, 12-18-2003 - 4:35pm
Hello Ladies,

My husband and I have had a really long and stressed out night. I feel bad for my husband mostly because things have been so hard for him with the house project. He put in an order for some lumber two weeks ago and the order is still not ready. If he does not get the order tonight, he will have to tell the framer to take time off until it comes in. On top of that I have been having some anxiety attacks and have not wanted to go anywhere. Last night after working all day he went grocery shopping for me. When he was almost finished with the shopping he called me and asked if I would feel okay about taking the little ones to see Santa. This was about quarter to nine at night, I said that I could do it if we just went there and back home again and no stops in between. I did okay with the outing, as I am always able to handle going out as long as he or someone is with me. The little ones were thrilled to see Santa, I did fine mainly because there were only one other family a head of us in line and the mall was not crowded.

As promised we went straight home and all was fine until my husbands cell phone rang (at 10:30pm) and on the other end of the line was the wife of the man that is framing our house. Her husband was not home from working at our job site. My husband looked a little white in the face when he got off the telephone. The framer that we hired works alone; he likes it this way. He came highly recommended and when we hired him, we thought we were hiring a crew but his work is good so we did not worry about the fact that he chose to work alone. I did not take the news well and imagined the worst. My husband quickly thought of the neighbor that is next door to the property that has always kept an eye on the place. We gave him a call and found that when the neighbor drove pass the property at 6:30pm that the cable was across the driveway indicating that the framer had left the property. This help with the thoughts that he might be laying there hurt. Next, my husband calls the framer's wife back to tell her that her husband was not at the job site. She in turn, informs my husband that the framer had a meeting some where at 6:30pm and that he should have been home from said meeting at 9:00 or 9:30pm at the latest. Now I know I would have call all over too if my husband did not show at a time that he said he would but we just did not need the stress that we experienced just then.

When we finally made it to bed last night, it was midnight. At this time, my husband informed me that the framer had framed the upstairs staircase and that the framer had enclose it in instead of leaving it open for a handrail like I wanted. It was not the best time to tell me this; I could not hold back the tears. I know it sounds pity but I want my house to be as I picture it should be and it is not going that way. I feel so guilty; my crying is causing more stress for my husband. After promising to fix the mistake, we both tried to go to sleep. As we struggle to go to sleep, both of us must have succeeded. At 3:00am both of us woke up, we struggled with trying to go back to sleep but either of us where successful.

Now all I can do is cry, I just do not seem to be able to control it. I know I am overly tired and just so stressed out. We have all the Christmas shopping still to do and we have not sent one card yet. We had planned to do the cards last night but under the circumstances, we just did not succeed in that endeavor. With that said, the stress level in this house is very high and as more tears fall more stress, anxiety, and guilt follow. I dislike that I can not seem to rise above this to today.


My poor husband just called on his lunch break to see how I am doing, man is it ever hard to hide how I really feel. I feel so guilty about my feeling, and my husband reveled that he is working all alone today as the co workers daughter is ill again today. Gee can we spell Selfish, why do I feel this way; I am a very lucky person. I have a husband that loves me so much, four great children, a new home being built and all I can do is hide and cry my eyes out. I guess I will just have to struggle through today, call the doctor tomorrow, and get him to give me another shot.

This is getting long and I do not what to bring anyone down to my level today. I trust that most of you are doing well and I send every cyber hugs.

Warm Regards,

RainydaysArgon

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2007

Lots of cyberhugs to you, (((((Rainy))))),


I don't blame you.

 

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CL-ladybug987

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003



Oh honey I am so sorry that this day is so bad for you....


I can only magine what it is like building a house and kinda having it turn out not the way you wanted it to be now with the whole house thing I do not think that you are being selffish at all wanting your house that you are paying good money for to be built the way that you want it to be you and your kids and your husband deserve the home you have worked so hard for.

Second I am glad that they framer didnt get hurt on your job site but did he make it home okay ?

I suffer from anxiety only if my schedual is thrwon off that I have set for myself and I know how I get and it isnt pretty and I hope that things get better for you the holidays play around with our minds alot make us more stressed out and more depressed than normal I too have not baught any presents yet too lazy I guess maybe no energy I got my sons gifts but only because he is in Arizna and I am in Connecticut but my family I wont do them til christmas eve I know sad but thats me this is the only time of the year that I wait til last minute every other aspect of my life I am never on time for but early for anal I supposed.

I am sending you big huge giagantic cyber hugs try to think of all the good stuff your husband sounds awesome and you have 4 great kids what else could you ask for bigs hugs and positive thoughts

Erin

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003

Hi sweetie!


Just wanted to leave you special HUGS!! You definately did NOT need the stress of that phone call from the contractors wife.. sounds like she panicked a little and I can understand that too..


Now remember hun, 90% of construction that is done can be undone so try to relax... As long and you catch the mistakes right away your carpenters should be obligated to correct them.. Its important to be very specific and perhaps it is wise to have your husband "write everything down" that he wants done when he talks to one of the contractors and then make a copy.. then before you pay them you walk thru the house with them and see if what you wanted.


May I also suggest for yours and your DH's piece of mind that you make a pact to NOT discuss the house at all at night or before bed?

*hugs