CRASHED,BURNED NOT DOING GOOD TRIGGS
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CRASHED,BURNED NOT DOING GOOD TRIGGS
| Fri, 12-19-2003 - 12:06pm |
I am not doing well and I can't get into it right now because I have to be on my way to see Kara and after her I see Weiss about the meds. I was doing so good and now I got thoughts again that I want to die and Irv and I are fighting and I am just so so so so miserable that I am ready to act on my thoughts. I feel like I am in quicksand!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Andrea

I'm glad that you are going to see you therapist and psychiatrist today. When I backslide like that I try to notice when the negative thoughts and feelings started. I try to see if a situation or a thought I had triggered the slide down. Usually there is something that happened and how I reacted to it that did it. Then that light switch goes off and suddenly all of life seems bad and tainted by the dark thoughts and feelings that have taken over.
The thing that is the most frustrating about depression is how easy it is to fall back into the complete darkness.
As I told you before, I've been sick this week. I'm really frustrated and down about my car accident law suit right now, too. I'm struggling with that darkness as well.
Keep reminding yourself about how much better you were doing and how great you felt. You've come out of it before and you will again. Part of recovery is holding onto those good times and knowing that they always come back.
Take Care,
MariaC