hard to be us
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| Mon, 12-22-2003 - 1:10am |
i have the most amazing boyfriend, but lately i have been so afraid of losing him that i am not enjoying him as much. he used to have commitment issues before he met me and has done everything he can to resolve them and be with me in a commited relationship. basically, he just never let himself get close to anyone. and he has told me recently that i am the first girl he ever saw a future with and we have dated longer than he has dated almost anyone. but i am scared that he will freak out and run away. i know it is silly, but it is scary to get close to someone. and when i know he can pull away when things get good, i scare myself that he will. i want to quiet my mind and enjoy him. i spent the whole weekend with him and knowing i may not see him for days now (he has alot of work) i was so sad i could cry, and sad turned into scared. i feel like a freak, i am always weird in relationships. but this time i don't want my depression and anxiety to stand in the way. so i am trying to fight it! how do you guys make depression affect your relationships less? do you get sad over silly relationship stuff too?

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I do the same thing.