This Is Going To Sound Stupid But I Am!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2003
This Is Going To Sound Stupid But I Am!
2
Mon, 12-22-2003 - 8:36pm
I don't know why my mentality is thinking this way but it is. Like I said in a post the other day that hasn't be read yet me and Irv have been having problems and part of the problem is I think he is depressed and he denies it.Today is another prime example. I went out this morning for my driver's license renewal without telling him. I told him after I had it done because he isn't exactly the most patient man and there you have to wait. Then I came home and I went to the library. When I got home he said he was tired and going to take a nap. Ok fine. I mean part of this could be his age(74) and the fact that he gets up every morning around 4 or 5 a.m. so I said fine. While he was napping I listened to my stereo for a bit and started watching a movie. I then called the library to see who was working tonight and it was Mary. Even though we get an hour a day if Mary is working I can come back and get on again. So I went in and told Irv I was coming back to the library and would be home in a bit. Well, he seemed to get upset that I was going back but I said what am I suppose to do you are napping. I am not ready for sleep. I said maybe if you played games with me. He told me I am always running around and not staying at home to play games. Made me feel horrible but it is not all my fault. Now earlier today I called this cat shelter that was looking for volunteers and they will get back to me next week but I don't know what I am going to tell Irv. He will say there I go again leaving the house but I figured this would help me with my depression. I took a test for my course that I am doing through home education and I got a 90 on it. My last test 3 months ago was a 90 and the first two I had 100's. I know that people are going to tell me a 90 is not worth getting upset about but I am. I set high standards for myself as far as school is concerned and because my depression and suicidal thoughts have been bad I haven't been studying and so to get a 90 is good but yet I am upset with myself.Anyway I just had to get some of this out and go home before Irv thinks I left the state. I have been gone for almost 3 hours. Talk to you all soon. Love and Hugs Andrea
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2003
Mon, 12-22-2003 - 10:09pm
Andrea

I think you need to do what is good for you. If he isn't awake I don't see how you should be made to feel bad that you aren't home.

What an awesome thing for you to volunteer at that cat shelter. It will make a difference to the cats and it will be great for you too!

Take care sweetie

Pamela

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2007
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 12:24pm

((((((((Andrea)))))))), you are doing a lot of good things for yourself.

 

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