Like Sands in the Hour Glass...Triggers

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Like Sands in the Hour Glass...Triggers
4
Wed, 12-31-2003 - 5:00pm
So are the days of my life. It is that time of year again when we are suppost to look back and reflect on the year. All I can see is I have nothing to show for it. No, good at all. Nothing but hurt and pain. No, friends.

No matter how hard I try it will never change.

I guess the best I can hope for is another new year like all the rest.

Thank - you for listening.

Take care of youreselves.

Hugs,

Cathy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Wed, 12-31-2003 - 5:46pm

Hi hun!


NOONE can know what a new day or a New Year will bring so try to be positive!


May you always have new roads to travel, new horizons to explore and new dreams to call your own!

*hugs

*hugs             

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 12-31-2003 - 8:07pm
Thank - you {{{{Caly}}}} for the kind words. But I know it will bring nothing good my way it never does. It is just the way it is for me. I truly have nothing good to show nothing in away to be proud of. I have accomplished nothing worth anything in 2003. Except maybe being more depressed, sad, lonely, detached, and lost in my life. I know there is more of this for me in 2004. Positive of it.

I am sorry I feel this way. But I do.

I hope the New Year brings everything in your life you hope it will.

You see Caly I have lost the ablitiy to hope for anything that might make me happy because it never happens for me.

Thank - you for responding.

Take care of yourself {{{{Caly}}}}

Hugs,

Cathy

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Wed, 12-31-2003 - 11:37pm
Cathy,

I didn't know that the New Year was about looking back. For me it's about new beginnings. I didn't have any real friends for years, but this year I finally got a couple. It came from taking classes in areas that interest me. That and me reaching out. I look back on all of those lonely years without close friends. I don't know why I thought I should have friends when all I did was go to work and sit at home. Now I realize that I should have gotten myself out of the house a lot sooner.

You can make resolutions at the new year. They don't have to be huge. Just resolve to do one thing differently. That can be to take a class doing something that you love.

They say that if you don't change anything, then nothing changes. When you let yourself dwell on negative things, then you keep yourself down in that well. I learned that from my therapist last year. She used Cognitive Behavior Therapy to show me how to stop the negative spirals that pulled me down into the darkness and kept me wallowing there, sometimes for months at a time.

Basically what my therapist taught me that has helped me so much is to not dwell on the negative thoughts. Not to beat myself up. She helped me see that I really wasn't worse than anyone else. I believed that I was. I believed I was worthless, like you say you believe about yourself. I believed that not having friends was proof of that. I believed that all my family's insults were also proof that I was worthless. But we are all human. We all have faults. Few people have very many true friends. Most people are so busy just trying to survive that they don't have the time or energy to be there for other people.

I think that this community here is a very special place. I feel blessed to have found it. All of us here are your friends, Cathy. But just as with the rest of us, the only way you can change your life is to make changes yourself. That's very tough when you are depressed. If your current therapist isn't helping you, then change therapists. If you have something like art, writing, computers, or history, that you love, then take a class in it. We are grateful to have you as a part of this community. new Years is a beginning. You can make the coming year different than every year before it.

We're here to help you do that.

Take Care,

MariaC

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 01-01-2004 - 9:45pm
{{{{Maria}}}} Thank - you for responding. I understand what you are saying but I also know it will never work for me. No, I am not in Therapy I can never be in Therapy for a very personal and private reason (Which I will not go into on this board). Just know that Therapy is not for me. I already take several classes at the Community College here and I have no friends spend most of my time there in class or Work Study.

I have tried to change things it always fails. Resolutions never work so I no longer make something I already know I will fail at.

Thank - you for listening to me.

Take care of yourself {{{{Maira}}}}

Hugs,

Cathy