New here with questions

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2003
New here with questions
Thu, 01-01-2004 - 2:27pm
I don't know if I have the winter blues or post partum depression late (I have an 8 month old) but what I've been feeling has been very depressed, bored, no interest in doing anything and sort of resentful at my life lately.

I can't remember the last time I had any fun, and honestly I can't remember what I use to do for fun. My relationship with husband isn't even very good anymore; everything revolves around the baby and I know I should be so thankful and happy for our wonderful, healthy little boy, but sometimes I can't help but wish for my old life back: freedom, sleep, time to exercise, time to go out, time for romance, time for vacations, etc. Now I feel like a walking zombie half the time. I'm sad, tired, and some of my best times of the day are when my baby is napping, so I can just have some quiet moments by myself. I don't feel comfortable sharing how I feel with family or friends because I feel guilty for feeling like this. Everyone says we have a great life, great house, I just work 2 days a week so I have the best of both worlds, but all in all I feel incredibly alone and just want to run away from my life, and marriage. My husband tries to be understanding but I just can't open myself up to him. I don't know what to do. I've had these moments before and eventually I get out of this mood and go on just like nothing happened, until it hits again.

Sorry for rambling and if this doesn't make any sense. Has anyone felt this way? Do I need counseling or just a babysitter?

Anne