i cant let it bother me...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
i cant let it bother me...
Sat, 01-03-2004 - 6:43pm
so i'm sitting around last night and had some great ideas for next holiday season. i'm going thru some really hard times right now - financially, that is.

so i'd gone to a store and saw all the great deals, yet couldn't buy anything - i just felt guilty even being there - but it made me begin to think.

*what can i do that doesnt take much money, but a lot of thought / creativity?*

i know how to knit & crochet (a dying art if i may say so).

what better than to knit my s.o. (significant other) an afghan. he'd mentioned how much he likes the one's i already have. so why not get started doing that & stow it away someplace for next yule.

so it came to me, since my mother taught me this craft, why not contact her and see about some ideas for designs/patterns. i do so & say let's get together on saturday (today) and get me some ideas.

so i go over there today. not a big deal, but i said my time was limited as i needed to be home by a certain time & no later than. not a problem.

so i get there, we talk yarn/patterns/books, etc. and it was fun.

then comes where i nearly just left (and left all my things over there).

she says "well i still have some of your old things in the garage and in (some old) closet. i want you to take all your things (toys from my childhood, old clothes that i know don't fit anymore, and anything else i can take.) and get them out of my house."

now it wouldn't have been so bad if she would've said something like she needed the extra space & would help her out a lot if i could take my boxes of things & sort thru them & do what i want with them. that i could understand and appreciate.

but this really upset me. she says "i have all your brothers' things in the garage and all over the house, i want yours out today."

granted, my brothers' both live outta state - but still visit often enough to collect a few things at a time. she's not ONCE said this to them. (despite them being her "precious sons".)

anyway, it just really bothered me & then when my car was full to the brim with what i could fit into it she says "now you better come back next weekend and pick up the rest. your brothers' are planning on coming next summer to take whatever they want. but yours needs to go now."

i've been struggling lately with my "blood family."

they all got upset when i decided to tell them that i dont celebrate their holidays (they'd all known but because i actually "spoke" it - i'm becoming banned). i'm pagan & have been for 13 yrs & they've known for at least 5 (minimum!).

now one of my brothers refuses to speak to me (not much of a loss there).

the other brother is just too busy w/his family and working beaucoup hours all the time.

now all of a sudden i'm getting this treatment from her!

i swear, the more i think about it, the more my "friends" & non-blood "family" (other half & his son) ARE my family. it's sad - because i have always thought family (any kind, blood or friends or those you simply bond with on a deeper level) are very important. now i'm losing my blood-family - or perhaps have lost them...

i dont know. i dont wish to complain but it's difficult. when i think everything's sound - something occurs to throw me off & make me think twice about visiting any of them.

perhaps it's time i simply let them go.

oh well. just wanted to sound that off.

any advice or words of wisdom are much appreciated.

thanks all for this great forum! *smiles*

Sue.