Seeking more information on CBT.........
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Seeking more information on CBT.........
| Sun, 01-04-2004 - 8:56pm |
Hi,
There have been many posts lately that contain the words Cognitive Behavior Therapy or CBT. Can anyone please enlighten me as to what this is? I understand what the words mean and I understand the concept but could someone please explain the process? Has anyone found it a successful form of therapy?
Warm Regards to all,
RainydaysArgon

Hi hun!
Well as a person who found it extremely successful ( the second time around) I think I can answer your questions.
Basically what CBT does is help you learn to turn your negative thoughts to positive ones.
The process goes something like this.. first you have to learn to recognize the negative thoughts.
For instance.. You are late to work one day so you immediately think " Oh god my boss is going to fire me" This is negative thought of the all or nothing category .. (there a lots of categories)
Well with CBT you learn to then take this thought and look at to 'examine the evidence' and see if its true.
SO you would take a minute and think... "Hmmm have I ever been fired for being late? Has anyone in the office been fired for being late? Do I have a good reason for being late? " etc.. And when you take a moment to do this you see that what you are thinking cant be true.. so in turn.. you turn it to a more positive thought.
"gee I was really late today, but I will tell my boss I will stay late to make up for it , that will make him happy"
*hugs
I also had amazing results with CBT. My therapist first explained to me that CBT has the best success rate with depression.
As we went through therapy she wouldn't say to me, "I'm going to use CBT on you right now" or anything overt like that.
Instead she asked me questions as I talked about what was bothering me.
For instance, once I said that people stop loving me when they get to know me. She looked at me like that was a really bizarre thing to say. Then she asked me for an example. So I told the story of my first love who broke my heart. After I was done, she said very matter-of-factly, "Well, he was clearly a self-centered young guy who didn't want to have to give to anyone. You just said yourself that he's told you since that other women have broken up with him because he wasn't willing to give to the relationship. And you said that his own brother told you that he only calls him when he needs money."
I was dumbfounded. She was right, of course. But my belief was so strong. Then she said, "Give me another one."
So I told her about the second great love who had broken my heart.
When I was done she said, "that doesn't prove he stopped loving you. You made it clear to him that if he stayed with you, he would have to be upfront, honest, and responsible for his behavior. He decided he didn't want to do that. It's really clear. In fact, he immediately married a foreign woman who was much younger, came to America to be with him, and didn't speak much English. He was making a statement that he wanted to control this woman the way he never could control you."
I was again dumbfounded. I gave her my last example of a good girlfriend who had just dumped me from her life. My therapist pointed out that this friend had dumped all of her friends from her life but me a year before. And she had a long history of treating people very rudely. My therapist said that this friend's behavior had nothing to do with me. "In fact," she told me, "I'll bet she gets ahold of you again when her new relationship goes on the rocks."
Of course, my friend did call me again.
Then my therapist said, "You've just given me three examples of completely unrelated events. In each one, the other person was not as giving as you. They were more self-centered than you. All those three people had big issues of their own. They didn't stop loving you, their issues just got in the way."
It was like a light of day coming on. I stopped telling myself that people don't love me after they get to know me.
CBT has many methods besides changing negative thinking. It uses behavior therapy as well. It teaches people how to relax and then use breathing and relaxation techniques in stressful, anxiety-provoking, or even phobic situations. It has wonderful applications for anxiety and phobias.
As I've said in other posts, The Feeling Good Handbook by David Burns, MD is a great place to start with CBT. It gives you specifics on the concepts and step-by-step exercises to deal with different kinds of negative thinking patterns.
The books are good, but doing the work with a therapist is even better. It can be hard to start the process when you really believe your negative thoughts and beliefs about yourself. You see how many people here are convinced they are rotten, worthless people who deserve pain. It can be hard to get out of that mindset on your own. The first thing is that you have to WANT to. I had hit bottom when I started CBT. I knew I needed to make big changes, or I would kill myself to escape the pain. I was committed to doing whatever it took. I was open-minded as well.
I would usually get upset during the week, which would trigger my depression, then I would look forward to my therapy session the rest of the week so that my therapist could use her CBT methods to put the situation or thought into perspective. After 5 months of therapy I realized that I new the methods very well now and could use them on myself and save myself $100 a week. So that's what I did! I really did well the first few months. I still use the methods all of the time. I see myself entertaining these negative thought spirals. Something will remind me of some event or relationship from the past. Then I start to think about how someone hurt me or did me wrong. I see myself get upset and into a depressed mood. Now I see what I'm thinking about and stop myself. I tell myself that it doesn't matter now. It's in the past and can't hurt me anymore. Then I think about something better, like how lucky I am to have my sweet dh or how cute my dog is.
One way to start to do CBT on your own is when you find yourself starting to feel depressed, ask yourself when the feeling began. What were you thinking about when you first started to feel depressed again? Then tell yourself that you were focusing on something that was an extreme interpretation. It almost always is. Shoot the negative thought down. Remind yourself that your feelings are a reaction to this negative thought. Then tell yourself positive things.
I felt quite depressed around the holidays. I was looking at my thoughts and I realized that all around the holidays I kept telling myself what I "should" do. I felt like I was behind and failing at doing the right things. Hadn't gotten all of my Christmas cards and presents out, blah, blah, blah. I hadn't told myself one good thing about myself. I wasn't appreciating myself or my life. So I started to remind myself of all of the kind things I've done lately for other people. Since being kind is the most important thing in the world to me, this made me happy! I didn't get down on myself about holiday stuff anymore.
The main thing about CBT is that it isn't something that someone else does to you. It's not a pill you take or something your therapist says that makes things all better. Success with CBT requires that you take responsibility to police your own thoughts. If you want other people to talk you out of your depression all of the time, then you probably won't be a proactive person with CBT. That's how I used to be.
The only thing that has finally cured my depression is me taking charge of my thoughts. I don't always notice my patterns right away. But that's OK! The main thing is not beating yourself up. You have the power to cure your own depression. CBT is a powerful tool to help you do that. I'm glad that I finally know that. I was a depressed, negative thinker all of my life. I wasn't trained to think positively by my family. I've had to train my own mind to enjoy the moment and stop ruminating about the past. I'm still training my mind. It's a constant process. I've been using it for a year. I think that as time goes on it gets easier to do.
Hope this post helped. I'm always here for questions as well.
Take Care,
MariaC
I have not used CBT yet but planning on it I started to read a book about body image that uses the technique of CBT to help change THE WAY THAT YOU LOOK AT YOURSELF TO CHANGE THE NEGATIVE THOUGHT PROCESS INTO A POSITIVE ONE.
i AM NOT SURE HOW MANY OF THE LADIES HERE HAVE USED IT AND I DO WANT TO TRY IT OUT SEE IF IT HELPS BUT I HAVE SUCH A STUBBORN BRAIN THAT IT IS VERY HARD FOR ME TO CHANGE MY THOUGHT PROCESS BUT IT CANT HURT...NOW THAT I HAVE DRIFTED WAY OFF COURSE HERE....
ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT TRYING IT OUT?
Thank you for enlightening me with your wonderful information. Maria C thank you for reminding me that I need to be proactive in my own care. I wish that I had the finances to see a therapist right now but the only money available now is in the food budget. Right now I am only eating two meals so that I can feed the little ones three and even if I found someone on a sliding scale I would still have to find and pay someone to watch the little ones.
So Erin in answer to your question yes I am going to try this CBT on my own and see if I can not improve my thoughts. I want to change the way I feel because I must get beyond this for my family’s sake and mine. I am going to locate the nearest copy of Dr. David Burns’s book, “The Feeling Good Handbook” today.
Caly and Maria C you both have said that you will be here for me if I have any questions, are you sure that you would not mind that I may ask questions of you from time to time? In addition, if I asked you to interpret a feeling for me, would you feel comfortable with this request? Looking forward to your replies.
Warmest Regards,
RainydaysArgon
Of Course I am
*hugs
Thank you for the encouragement and the unwavering support. I know that the road to recovery is long and sometimes full of potholes but I need to do something to help myself. I have located a used copy of “The Feeling Good Handbook,” and plan to procure said copy soon.
Warmest Regards,
RainydaysArgon