starting to feel better!!!!!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
starting to feel better!!!!!!!!!!
5
Wed, 01-07-2004 - 11:55am



Hello ladies........................

Well I went to the pdoc yesterday unfortunatly my tdoc is sick and had to cancel our appointment for tonight oh well there is next week.....

Well I am starting to feel better not as sad but I am still upset with my sister she didnt ask me to go because she thought I would be too worried or emotional she didnt ask me cause she thought that I couldnt get time off of work which is crap cause she knows that my boss is very cool with stuff like that she instead had Luis go with her but in a way I am glad that I didnt go because I know she would chose Luis over me and want him with her when Hannah woke up which is also crap I am blood Luis is not my sister and Luis are not even dating they are friends with benefits (I am sure you all know what I mean by that)But I should be used to that also since she ignores me and the only time she speaks with me is to ask me to watch Hannah or if I did something wrong.

You see the reason why I am so bothered by all of this is because sh is my sister I love my sister I want my sister to be happy I want her to talk to me I want her to acknowledge my existance when I am home I feel like I do not exist part of me is so tempted to just tell her that we should just stay out of each others lives for good I wont bother her and she wont bother me because bascally that is how it is now she knows nothing about what is going on with me it just hurts so much she will drop it all for luis cook for him do his laundry take care of his dog but god forbid she let my dog out when she is home she will keep my dog locked up it is such crap I thought that maybe I was jealious but I am not I dispise Luis I think he is trash the way he acts and sleeps around and makes my sister believe that he isnt with anyone but her for gods sake Luis has not once gone into the back yard and cleaned up the dog poop I do it my sister does it and my neighbor does it but Luiis could be home all day and wont go and do it.

I am sorry for ranting so much about this but it is really bother ing me alot.

Well I am not feeling so sad actually I have alot of energy today it started late afternoon yesterday for me I was really excited about nothing really laughing talking alot ect...but I know that I am probably going into my manic stage I can usually catch them when they are starting but I am starting to try to set some goals for myself I am hoping to move out to arizona with in a year I am going to save the money that I get from my tax return and the money I would have used to pay for my car each month (I just paid my car off yeah me!!!) so I figure I should have a couple grand saved in a year maybe 9k or I hope more than that figure that should be enough to move with.

I got such a nice comment yesterday one of the guys I work with said that I looked different this sounds strange but he said my hair looks different healthy that I looked different I told him that I am trying to ween myself off of the constant diet no diet pills which is the hardest thing for me at 5'2 I know I should be at least 105 which I am but I still feel huge and I also do not weigh myself but I am going to weigh in at least once a month to see if there is a constant with my eating and working out to see if I maintain the same weight with out the diet pills but I thought that was a nice comment Itold him I also stopped going out all of the time draining my energy on crap and that I have stayed away from the bad boys and am going to try to learn to be alone for a little hwile it is hard for me cause I have had a boyfriend on a constant level since I was 17 I will be 29 in February so that is why it is so hard for me to be alone and that is why I think there is something wrong with me.

Okay well before I go even more all over the place I am going to end this thank you ladies for the support insight and advice love to you all.

Erin

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2003
Wed, 01-07-2004 - 12:30pm


Because I want you to feel better I want to remind you my previous advise. Please is all on your hands. Remember I'm a bipolar person and have had to work pretty hard on this and I think you can do it too. YOU and only YOU have the control over your feelings. If your sister doesn't want to be with you or talk to you let her be the way she wants to. I'm sure that this is not good news for you but you have to deal with it . You can not control her feelings or if she wants or not to speak to you. Here is my advise again, please give it a try you'll see the difference in your life.

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-bhdepression&msg=42741.5

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Wed, 01-07-2004 - 3:34pm
i am glad that you are starting to feel better. that was nice of that guy- i'm sure he is right. i am a health professional and i know how damaging diet pills and dieting too much can be. you know that i am a model, and i get really upset with the agents/models that think dieting when not needed is ok. i refuse to go under 120 (and i look PLENTY skinny). in fact, when my weight drops i get it back up. at your height, if you go over 105, i guarantee you will look great still. no more diet pills! you are super skinny and you don't need them! :) this is all said with love!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2003
Wed, 01-07-2004 - 4:15pm
Yay for Erin!

I am glad you are feeling better. I am am so excited that you got that wonderful compliment. You definately deserve it sweetie.

Take care

Pamela

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2007
Wed, 01-07-2004 - 8:12pm

(((((Erin))))), I am glad for you that your mood has gone in the other direction.

 

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v254/ladybug987/Signatures/springbutterflybarb.jpg>

CL-ladybug987

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Wed, 01-07-2004 - 8:21pm

{{{Erin}}}


Sweetie, I'm glad to hear that you are feeling better.