New here....ready to beat my depression
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| Thu, 01-08-2004 - 10:55am |
I know that I need help because its a struggle for me to do normal daily tasks such as getting up in the morning, doing any work once I'm at work, feeding myself and my daughter properly rather than taking the easy way out and getting fast food. This is supposed to be a happy time in my life. I'm getting re-married in May and I love my fiance very much. I'm planning a big beautful wedding - I didn't have one before so this is a first for me. I'll also be quiting my job and taking care of my family, including new little ones hopefully some day. This is all I've ever wanted and now I can't seem to enjoy this happy time in my life. The oddest thing is that I can put on a happy face anytime...if I told anyone I was depressed they probably wouldn't believe me.
Any words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated.
~Kate

First of all, you deserve to be happy - look at all the good stuff in your life at the moment!
Try not to think of it as a big deal - just go back to the doctors and get some more medicine for your depression. Because you are aware of it, you can do something about it, hopefully before it gets worse - you owe that to your fiance, your family and most of all, yourself. Sometimes half the battle is just calling the doctor for an appointment, so maybe just start with the phone call. Then when you get the appointment, your mindset will be then, "I am going". And that's a good thought on your way to beating your depression!
Believe me, I've been there. I thought I was okay a couple times in my life, and went off Prozac, and within six weeks, I got panic attacks, then the depression came back, so I went back and resumed the medication. The thought about having to go back on the meds depressed me too, because I thought 'what is wrong with me - why can't I function without medicine? Am I going backwards?'
I guess we don't always know the reasons why things in our bodies work the way they do, and that includes the chemicals in our brains. I suppose if I have to be on anti-depressants the rest of my life, I would choose that over depression, of course, I would rather not, but then I would rather not be a slave to a nasty chemical imbalance that wrecks my life.
Yeah, when I was depressed, I used to go through the day at work, smiling and 'acting' happy. When I got off of work, I would go home and cry. It takes so much energy hiding our true feelings sometimes, and in fact, it takes so much energy just being depressed.
Well, good luck. Let me know how you get on.
Hope this helps!
Julie
((((((((((((((((((((Welcome Kate,)))))))))))))))))))
Stating that you need help is the hardest step.
Thank you so much for your support! You gave me the kick in the butt that I needed...I'm going to call someone today. Our minds have a way of tricking us into thinking that we're ok and that we can handle it and we really want to believe it but thank God for people like you that are out there to help.
I'll keep in touch to let you know how it goes.
Take care,
Kate
~Kate
Sorry I missed this when it was first posted. I've been away alot.
Most of us here like to refer to the happy face we put on as "the mask". And yes, most of us have had people say they can't believe that we have depression.
Glad you are going to the doctor. Keep us posted sweetie. Sending you hugs.
Pamela