Caly........HELP..........

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2003
Caly........HELP..........
2
Thu, 01-08-2004 - 6:26pm
Hi Caly and Everyone,

I have been doing so well for the last few days but today I can not seem to pull myself out of this feeling of disappointment. I been reading and doing the exercises from Dr. Burns book, “The Feeling Good Handbook.” It has helped me to stop some of the distorted thoughts I been having. I have not gotten to that part in the book that deals with disappointment yet and I was hoping you could help me out. I feel a little funny posting about our problems with our house because the last time that I did someone wanted to change places with me. There are days when I would gladly change places with anyone but reality sets in and this is my life and I will have to learn to live with it.

We have been snowed in for most of seven days now and it looks like we will finally be able to go places soon. In fact today the snow has melted enough that we can can get around some. That brings me to the disappointment of the day. My husband works for his father and because of the snow he has not been able to do his usual job. My husband does the bookkeeping for his dad and so he has been able to work on the books on the days that the rest of the crew could not work. Because we have the only four-wheel drive in the house, my husband has been running his mom to work and running out to the store. He has also been driving his father around to look at jobs. I know that some of the places that my husband has taken my father-in-law have not been job related, (junk store etc.). My husband has been working long hours at the bookkeeping and the children and I have been missing him although he is only upstairs in the office.

We have been working on house the house lately, will my husband is trying to find the next sub-contractor and I have been looking (online) for fixtures and such that will be needed in the next phase but I have been hitting roadblocks like crazy. Every time I picture something the way that I what it I have change it because of some building code. I have been so frustrated and overwhelmed that I just want to give up but I will not. This morning I found a shop somewhat close to us with fixtures that are seconds and I wanted my husband to take me. The shop is only open from 9 to 5 and I know that we will not have the opportunity to do this again, as my husband will be returning to work maybe as soon as tomorrow. His answer was no that we will have to do it some other time and I could not control the feeling of disappointment. I tried several of the exercise but I just can not stop the feeling of being disappointed and of course, all the old disappointment comes rushing back too. I can not seem to stop them and I am seeking your advice. Can you please share with me how you would deal with the disappointments?

I am sorry to be such a crybaby but I just wish this house thing would hurry up and be finished. Looking forward to your reply.

Warm Regards,

RainydaysArgon

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2007
Fri, 01-09-2004 - 12:25am

((((((Rainy)))))), I'm sure Caly was really busy this evening or she would have answered you.

 

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CL-ladybug987

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Fri, 01-09-2004 - 5:48pm

Rainy Im soo sorry!!


I didnt see this post until just now.. The board has been so busy lately that things tend to get buried fast.. Im sorry about that.


Now then to you question..


I totally understand about disappointment.. Its one of the hardest things I battle too.. In fact as a kid I learned to never ask for anything so that I would never be disappointed.. its not a good way to do it.. trust me.. but Im just saying I know how you feel.


I guess what works the best for me is a technique that a friend taught me.. She told me to keep telling myself "If its meant to be, it will be"

*hugs