New to board...Need help with brother...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2003
New to board...Need help with brother...
3
Fri, 01-09-2004 - 10:48am
I guess I'll just start by saying that my brother has been depressed for several years. It seems to go in waves. He'll have "up" times when he seems fairly normal and can function fine, then he plunges into a depressed state with little or no warning. His wife of 10 years finally left him this past summer and took their children to another state. She was tired of him accusing her of having an affair, tired of his moods, etc., etc., etc. She also said she was afraid he would kill her if she stayed. Since she left he's said things to my sisters and I about "getting even" with her. He makes it clear to us what he's talking about. He was arrested in the town she lives in a couple months ago, because he had a gun in his car. He bonded out after 3 days and was ordered to stay away from his ex-wife and kids for 60 days.

He had a good job, which he quit a couple months ago, which in turn, has made his depression worse, because the bank is foreclosing on his house, etc., etc. He makes bad decisions and acts before he thinks.

A few years ago, as I was trying to console him one night about his depression and try to talk him into getting help, he made homicidal comments about our sister (they were in a fight at the time and not speaking). He only said this to me and I've never told my sister, as they are getting along now.

Anyway, he called both my sister and I last night and made several comments about making his ex-wife "pay", and he even told my sister that he has letters written to his children explaining it all to them. My husband thinks he's just all talk, as he's threatened all of this before, but it seems to be excalating and I'm scared. I just don't know what to do. If I have him committed to a hospital, then I'll forever be afraid for myself and my family, because I know he would never forgive me for that. It seems there is no easy answer here. Any advice you all could give me would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2003
Fri, 01-09-2004 - 11:14am
Hi there

Hmmm...I don't really know what to tell you. Have you thought of mentioning what he said about his ex to his ex? I don't know what your relationship is with her.

Does your brother take any anti-depressant medications? Does he see a therapist? These are both really important when dealing with depression. I guess another important question for me to ask is does he awknowledge his depession?

Anyway, I wish you luck.

Pamela

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Fri, 01-09-2004 - 5:02pm

Welcome to the board!


One thing I have learned in my time at the board and in battling depression, is that MEN handle and react to depression VERY differently then we do.


I would suggest you start by heading over to this link Men with Depression


http://www.maledepression.com/

*hugs             

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2007
Fri, 01-09-2004 - 5:07pm

Welcome to our board, ((((((chbcmom))))))!

 

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