Does this ever get better????

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
Does this ever get better????
6
Sun, 01-11-2004 - 9:41am
I really need to know if this does get better? I have been depressed for 3 1/2 yrs and I am so sick and tired of feeling the way I do. I am so sick and tired of closing my eyes and seeing images of my husband with another woman. I am so sick of going to bed and having nightmares of them together. I am so sick of hearing the words in my head that my husband said to me during the nine months he fence sat and didn't make a decision on who he wanted. I am so sick of looking at my youngest and knowing that she wasn't created out of the love that we shared, but instead created out of the love I had for him while he loved someone else (Please don't get me wrong - Faith is the joy of my life she is the best thing that ever happened to me - heck she was named Faith for a reason!!!)

I am just sick of feeling the way I do!!!!! Oh yes, and please don't get me wrong my dh is doing everything he can to support me. Yes he hurt me deeply and caused all of this pain, but I believe people can and do make mistakes. He made a huge one and it was at my expense but he is also doing everything he can to make it better. Only problem is I am not getting better. I am so afraid that one of these days he is going to say "I have had enough!!!" I am afraid one of these days he is going to leave me and move on because I am too hard to be with. He swears that when he almost lost me he realized what was most important, but I am afraid that he is only saying empty words.

So does it ever get better?

Chelle -
"This too shall pass"and "No man is worth your tears, and the one that is will NEVER make you cry."


Mommy with enough love in her heart for her seven kidlets, dh, and then some :o)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Sun, 01-11-2004 - 9:48am

All I can say hun, its YES it does get better.. I battled depression at many times during my life with the worst time being about 3 years ago.

*hugs             

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2003
Sun, 01-11-2004 - 11:45am
I hear ya sweetie. I've felt this way for as long as I can remember. Some days I get so tired of being tired all the time. But I know that I feel better now than I have felt, so things MUST get better.

Take care

Pamela

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2007
Sun, 01-11-2004 - 3:15pm

Do you maybe have a minister or priest you could talk to?

 

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CL-ladybug987

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
Sun, 01-11-2004 - 4:59pm
In all honesty Barb I would NEVER go to a priest. In my opinion they know zero about marriage as they have never been married. I know that might sound mean and all, but I guess all I can say is that is me :o)

Not only that but my fil is now learning to be a priest (or whatever you would say - don't really know what the right words are but he is studying to be a priest and will be ordained in a few years), and the truth of the matter is I have lost faith in the church. I believe in God and all that, but to me the church is just something I do not want to partake in any longer. I have a hard time understanding how my father in law after being married to mil for 20 some years with four children could annul his marriage and become a priest. Just doesn't seem right to me.

Of course that is just my belief and I do not want to start a religion war. All I can say is that is where I am at with my belief for right now. That may change in the future though :o)

Chelle -
"This too shall pass"and "No man is worth your tears, and the one that is will NEVER make you cry."


Mommy with enough love in her heart for her seven kidlets, dh, and then some :o)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2007
Sun, 01-11-2004 - 6:26pm

That's okay.

 

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CL-ladybug987

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 01-12-2004 - 8:32am
Hi, Just tossing in my two cents on the subject. I have had many hurts in my heart and have carried them around for years, letting them rule my reactions and restrict my happiness. One day I heard a song called "At the Cross". One of the lines in the song

says that God can heal not only the wrongs that we have done, but also the wrongs done To Us. This made a great impression on me - that if I would give it to Him, he could help me recover from the pain and fear of things that others had done to me. I am still working on some of the issues, but it has changed my perspective and given me a better outlook on the fact that I will recover, that I am surviving and that the future holds better things, including a sense of peace. You don't have to be a church goer to have a good relationship with God, you only have to believe and have faith in him and his Love for you.

Best wishes, Martha