I don't get it

Avatar for marykkr
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
I don't get it
4
Sun, 01-11-2004 - 10:14pm
I've posted about my unhappiness on my job, and I'm actively looking for a new job. Of course, I've told my friends and my roommate about what's happening.

My roommate particularly is very discouraging about the whole things. She says I can meet nasty people in any workplace (I KNOW that!), that the economy is so bad I probably won't find anything, etc., etc., etc. And she's not the only one.

I can't figure what's going on. What makes them so uncomfortable? Is the intent that I should just swallow my pride and keep taking the abuse I'm getting at work for lousy pay? I can usually end the discussion by saying that I could be making a lot more money at my skill level (and that's not bragging).

I wish people would be more supportive of me on this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Sun, 01-11-2004 - 10:25pm
hon,

i know none of us here can answer for your roommate or friends - but one thing i know is change (even if it doesnt really affect someone much) is still change & it can be scary or disconcerting in the least to some.

maybe your friend is afraid of maybe losing the luxury of having you as a roomie. think about it, having a roomie cuts costs in half (usually) - that is, rent, food, bills, etc.

not to mention the bonus having a friend live with you.

but anyway, hon, if it's something you want - and i mean REALLY want - go with what your gut says.

ppl are gonna try to keep you down, no matter what & usually for their own personal motives. use those if you can as inspiration - a kinda "told ya so" in the end you can show or say to them.

it's kinda backwards, but i do it sometimes when i really think i could do something - i use that negative energy/feedback as positive reinforcement.

besides, i'm looking for a new job all the time myself & am not getting ANY positive feedback from anyone - so i'm on a mission!

i wish luck to you in your search.

Sue.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 01-12-2004 - 12:28am
Hi Mary, I'm sorry I haven't been around lately (I had a med school interview, and then my internet kept kicking me off). So I don't know exactly what's going on with your job situation, but from what you wrote in this post, it sounds horrible. I can definitely understand your desire to find another job if you are dealing such nastiness at your current one.

I can also relate to your difficulty understanding your roommate's response. A while back, I was signing up for jobs and then quickly quitting them, largely because of my medical problems, but also because they were really extremely boring jobs...I had yet to realize that, even with my bachelor's degrees, it would be hard to find work that is challenging and interesting.

During that time, my dad would often call me and tell me how bad the job market is, how lucky I was even to have those jobs...and he would imply that I was lazy and ungrateful if I decided to quit (well, OK, he did more than imply at some points!). I didn't really understand where he was coming from, and I'm still not sure that I do.

But now I don't have a regular job...and the temp jobs I've been working are even more boring than my previous work (e.g. recently doing data entry for 8 hours a day)...still, now I do appreciate the fact that I am able to work and earn a little money. I guess this could be what your roommate means, that even your unpleasant job is better than the possibility of no job...I'm not saying that I necessarily agree with that, though.

Personally, I think that if your current job is causing you so much emotional pain and stress, you should go with your gut and quit if you are financially able to. No one else can completely understand just what you're going through...maybe your roommate thinks you are exaggerating the problems at your job. But if you know that this job is absolutely not a positive thing in your life, I think you are doing the right thing by quitting.

Just my two cents...others may disagree with me...but I also just wanted to let you know that I'll be thinking about you. I'm leaving for my second med school interview tomorrow and will spend a few days there (this is going to get old quickly, all this flying and riding and the stress of interviewing!)...but I will try to check in and read your posts when I can.

Hope things start looking up,

Rose

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Mon, 01-12-2004 - 10:17am



I am in the same boat that you are in, I agree that the economy is bad right now I have looked for jobs with none available at the moment but that doesnt mean that I am not going to look anymore I think that you should continue with your job hunt yes there are people at every work place that are not the nicest but that shouldnt discourage anyone from moving on and up, maybe your roommate is just afraid to move on from her job so she is acting out on you maybe she wishes that she could do the same thing but cant.

You should do what is best for you after all you are your only est friend and you are the only one that will take care of you and you are the only one that knows what is best for you.

Good luck in your search I know that you will find what is right for you.

Erin

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2003
Mon, 01-12-2004 - 10:21am
Mary

I think you need to do what makes you happy. Keep your job until you find a new one, then wave bye bye to them. You deserve to be happy. Do what you need to.

Take care

Pamela

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