Help....Anyone?
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Help....Anyone?
| Mon, 01-19-2004 - 10:08pm |
I’m not sure if anyone remembers me so I will give a little background. I am a senior in college. I’m going to graduate this may with a BA in psychology. So far I’ve applied to one school for a PhD program in Experimental Psychology. I am applying to four more schools for a masters in Counseling Psychology. The truth is I’m not sure what I will want to do.
Lately I’ve been having a lot of doubts about my intelligence and my ability to go on. This is really making me depressed. I’ve always have had really low self confidence in the intelligence area even though I have a lot going for me. I have a 2.97 GPA, which is bad because of earlier troubles in school, but my major GPA is about 3.8 (on a four point scale). All of my Professors love me, I’m not sure why though. I’ve been getting straight A’s. I just feel like the stuff I have been learning is not sticking. I think I learn something merely to get past the class then I forget it. Like in statistics, I worked my butt off and got an A in it, but now I can’t remember anything. My Senior Comprehensives are coming in about three weeks. I don’t do well on tests anyways so I’m so afraid that I won’t do well enough on them to pass. I also have been excepted to go to these conferences to present a poster on my senior thesis. I’m deadly afraid that someone will ask me a question that I can’t answer especially if it is about statistics. My advisor can’t go to back me up and I’m so tempted to turn the opportunity down which is horrible.
Another somewhat related problem is my absolute lack of motivation. I’ve posted about this a little while ago. I haven’t cared to work extra to make sure I do well on my comps or that if I am asked a question at the conferences I will know how to answer. I have no motivation. Today classes were shortened and I slept through my alarm clock so I didn’t bother to go to the class I had. I thought I could get so much done. I ended up sitting and watching TV all day. I haven’t gotten anything done. I need to desperately get my stuff sent in for graduate school.
I used to get so excited for school and at least put effort into it. I am apparently getting tired of school, but I don’t want to quit or even take a break. I just once in my miserable life want to be smart and confident in myself. I want to put enough effort into something that when I’m done I think to myself that I’m proud that I did it not that anyone who tried could do it too.
I’ve tried thinking positive. I’ve tried positive affirmations. Nothing seems to work. I don’t even want to keep trying because I’ve just afraid that I will keep failing at it.
My dream is to be a great psychologist that will help lots and lots of people especially those with depression because I know how it is to be stricken with this horrible, and at times debilitating disease. But how can I, if I can’t get past my own problems.
Does anyone have any advice, answers, anything that could help me? Why can’t I just give up? Thanks for listening.
Lately I’ve been having a lot of doubts about my intelligence and my ability to go on. This is really making me depressed. I’ve always have had really low self confidence in the intelligence area even though I have a lot going for me. I have a 2.97 GPA, which is bad because of earlier troubles in school, but my major GPA is about 3.8 (on a four point scale). All of my Professors love me, I’m not sure why though. I’ve been getting straight A’s. I just feel like the stuff I have been learning is not sticking. I think I learn something merely to get past the class then I forget it. Like in statistics, I worked my butt off and got an A in it, but now I can’t remember anything. My Senior Comprehensives are coming in about three weeks. I don’t do well on tests anyways so I’m so afraid that I won’t do well enough on them to pass. I also have been excepted to go to these conferences to present a poster on my senior thesis. I’m deadly afraid that someone will ask me a question that I can’t answer especially if it is about statistics. My advisor can’t go to back me up and I’m so tempted to turn the opportunity down which is horrible.
Another somewhat related problem is my absolute lack of motivation. I’ve posted about this a little while ago. I haven’t cared to work extra to make sure I do well on my comps or that if I am asked a question at the conferences I will know how to answer. I have no motivation. Today classes were shortened and I slept through my alarm clock so I didn’t bother to go to the class I had. I thought I could get so much done. I ended up sitting and watching TV all day. I haven’t gotten anything done. I need to desperately get my stuff sent in for graduate school.
I used to get so excited for school and at least put effort into it. I am apparently getting tired of school, but I don’t want to quit or even take a break. I just once in my miserable life want to be smart and confident in myself. I want to put enough effort into something that when I’m done I think to myself that I’m proud that I did it not that anyone who tried could do it too.
I’ve tried thinking positive. I’ve tried positive affirmations. Nothing seems to work. I don’t even want to keep trying because I’ve just afraid that I will keep failing at it.
My dream is to be a great psychologist that will help lots and lots of people especially those with depression because I know how it is to be stricken with this horrible, and at times debilitating disease. But how can I, if I can’t get past my own problems.
Does anyone have any advice, answers, anything that could help me? Why can’t I just give up? Thanks for listening.
Jessica

Do you have a therapist? I wouldn't trade mine for my own weight in platinum. You could ask your professors, or call your county's mental health association. There are United Way agencies with a sliding fee scale (that's how I met mine, and he's an absolute treasure!).
Honey, you already know why you can't just give up. You've worked too hard and given too much. You deserve to succeed. Please try to find a therapist you can work with. It's the best investment in yourself you can make! And please, post here as often as you need to. Someone will always be here to listen.
Jessica
How's it going sweetie?
I think what you are feeling is just a result of your depression. Just keep your eye on your goal. Think of all the people that you will be an awesome help to because you have dealt with depression.
I think finding a new therapist is a great idea. I can't offer any help being I am in a different country. I wish you great American ladies could have free health care like me. Come on up to Canada ladies!!
Anyway, talk to you soon.
Take care
Pamela
Hi, ((((((Jessica))))))!
You know, when I was a senior in college I recall feeling much the same way as "comps" approached.
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CL-ladybug987
I also have a bad memory for school stuff. I learn things, and then I do okay on tests. But after that, don't ask me to remember anything.
Pamela
Hi Jessica Welcome back!
I know things are rough right now hun, but the reason you cant give up is you know how deeply you want this. And because you want this so bad You will be WONDERFUL at it.
*hugs