Any one been diagnosed bipolar?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Any one been diagnosed bipolar?
6
Wed, 01-21-2004 - 6:00pm
I'm a semi-usual poster and frequent lurker, but I'm coming in with a different user name than usual. I'm sorry and I don't want anyone to think I'm a troll, I just know there are some people who know I post here and I don't want them to know this is me. Does that make sense?

After lots of recent craziness I went back to the pdoc and talked for a while and she tells me what i have is more than depression, is a mood disorder and it's bipolar II. Well, this must be my punishment for labeling bipolar people before! I knew I felt crazy, and something was going on, but I honestly thought she was just going to adjust or change meds - not pop out with this. So I did some research and bipolar II is like the "light" version and yes, it does sound like me. I think. And my personal and family history really correlate with the diagnosis.

Anyway, I'm freaked out and feel like I can never tell anyone because they will treat me like a nut or say or think bad things about me (all things I've done before - very bad, I know). I lied to my Mom and told her the pdoc just adjusted meds.

I feel like crap, I'm exhausted and I feel confused and guilty. Can anyone here relate or know what i am talking about. I don't want anyone to get mad at me about my stereotyping bipolar's in the past. I'm mad enough at myself and feel very bad. Please don't take offense.

Thanks for listening,

Piruli

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Wed, 01-21-2004 - 6:10pm

hi hun!


one of the biggest things we value here at iVillage is that people feel "Safe" to post. SO if that means a different user name for you that is fine !


Im sure a diagnosis like Bipolar can be scary, but im sure too it will be better having the correct one so that you can find the best meds and help for your situation.

*hugs             

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
Wed, 01-21-2004 - 9:51pm
Hi Piruli-

I have been diagnosed with bipolar II myself about a year ago. I was first diagnosed with major depression. I do suffer more from the depression side of bipolarII, but I have my days were I am on the hypomanic side of bipolarII. It is harder to treat than bipolar I. The doctors have to be careful and treat both sides at once. I have also had the suicidal part of bipolarII. It is an illness and no one wants any part of any mental illness. I am glad they doctors have diagnosed you properly in order to treat you properly.

The part of the illness that I have difficulty with is irritabilty and feeling like sometimes I am in a hurry, like things need to be done quickly. I have been told that bipolar people wear every emotion on their sleave, which makes it difficult for us to deal with our emotions because they seem to be intensified more. I don't know if you experience any thing like this or not.

I don't take offense to you stereotyping bipolars, but now you can see they are just people like you. Also, everyone with depression has different levels of it and cope differently with it and there are people with different levels of bipolar who cope with it diiferently than others, but all in all it they are illnesses that need medication to be treated and not getting the help and taking the meds is the worse thing. I am glad you reached out to your doctor and shared what is going on with you and how you are feeling so you can be treated and live a fulfilling life as much as possible.

No matter what name you used Thanks for sharing and I am glad you posted.

Tina~

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Wed, 01-21-2004 - 10:07pm
Caly and Tina,

Thank you for your posts!

Caly - you are so sweet. Everytime I read one of your posts I wish I could meet you in person and give the madhugger a big fat hug. We are all blessed that you are one of our leaders.

Tina - Thanks for responding. It's funny you say that about wearing our emotions on our sleaves! I'm looking at everything in a different perspective right now and I think about the other day in the cornerstore I was in a tizzy just to buy a coke and a pack of cigarrettes. I didn't realize it until the guy behind the counter said slow down, don't get in such a hurry. If people I don't even know can see it, I cant imagine what my friends, family, coworkers must see. I always try very hard to put up an image, a facade. Another example comes to mind of a recent conference at work where I was on a super high for me. I was hyper and laughing and acting silly (out of character for me) and one of my co-workers told me she liked me better that way - it was better than my regular serious snooty self. I didn't know what that meant. Today I'm thinking about it again and from a whole new perspective.

You are right, now I know people with bipolar disorder are just that, people. I'm young, but always learning that one should never judge or guess what anything is like until they have been there.

I am going to take this one step at a time, but I was quite overwhelmed by the diagnosis. Just a shock I guess and don't feel like I have anyone I can talk to about it. Except my Counselor, but that is not until Tuesday. It didn't help that I had just come from another doctor that told me I had a cyst on my cheek that will have to be surgically removed. Woohoo! Surgery is always so much fun! (sarcasm)

Thank you both, again,

Piruli

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2003
Wed, 01-21-2004 - 11:57pm

Hi Piruli,


I saw your post and along with the personal experiences the girls here can relate, if you'd like a little more information on bipolar, there is a board for that at:


http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-bhbipolar


There are several links at the top of that board that go into detail about bipolar also.

IVHealth Ruth Ann
Assistant Community Moderator/Health Librarian
rjohnson@mail.ivillage.com



IVHealth Ruth Ann
Community Leader/Ask the Health Librarian

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Thu, 01-22-2004 - 10:55am
Piruli,

I also have bipolar disorder and like you I was in total shock when my pdoc told me that is what I had and like you I started to look at myself differently.

I agree with what tine said you do wear all of your emotions on yor sleeve, and it is hard very hard sometimes and it is even harder for others to understand what it is all about.

It is not a death sentence and it can be controlled with mood stabilizers I take neurontin and it helps but I thinnk I need something else.

You will be fine and dont worry about posting under another name as long as you feel safe to post that is what matters most.

Erin

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 01-22-2004 - 1:38pm

Hi...I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone!

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