Frustrated, Angry, Unhappy...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2003
Frustrated, Angry, Unhappy...
7
Tue, 01-27-2004 - 10:44am
I am so miserable ladies. I am tired of being tired all the time, tired of having to force myself to take step after step. I just want to run away. Suicide isn't an option for me, but I just want to disappear. I feel like I have been keeping myself from a nervous breakdown for years and I want to throw my hands up and say okay nervous breakdown, it's your turn.

My meds don't really seem to be working anymore, but I have a referral to see a p-doc. But will I ever feel better? I mean, I am 25 and have felt this way for as long as I can remember. I am so tired of being tired all the time. I have taken every blood test known, had my thyroid checked and re-checked, taken all sorts of vitamins, and nothing has helped. There has got to be more to life than this. I wake up, get ready for work, work, come home, eat, check some emails, and lay on the couch like a dying person and then take a bath and go to bed.

I guess I do feel as if I am dying inside. I feel lost, alone, helpless, hopeless.

Pamela

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Tue, 01-27-2004 - 12:23pm
This is going to sound cliche, but I feel your pain. Word for word, I could have written your post. We are the same age. I have been to a million doctors too. I hate going because I hate when they tell me everything is fine because it's not fine and I'm tired and I feel like crud all the time. I think it's good you go to a pdoc. Maybe they can help. Just know you are not alone. If I ever figure out the solution, I'll make sure I let you in on the secret.

Big hugs

Piruli

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2003
Tue, 01-27-2004 - 12:27pm
Thanks so much Piruli

It IS nice to know that I am not alone.

Pamela

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
Tue, 01-27-2004 - 1:10pm

((((((((Pamela))))))))), I wish I could wiggle my nose and chase your fatigue.

AcornLeaves
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
Tue, 01-27-2004 - 6:41pm
Hi girlie! I feel just like you!!! (If that's in inkling of a consolation...)

My heart aches for the way you feel. It absolutely sucks, to feel so blah, nearly empty, little enthusiasm (well, that's where I'm coming from, anyway). Me, I go up and down. I've noticed the way I feel about myself largely has to do with the thoughts I'm thinking. Maybe some of it is chemical, but the mind has a lot to do with it, too, and if you're on a negative downward spiral, watchout! Depression-city.

I've had a melancholy disposition for as long as I can remember; happy on the outside, rather shadowy and contemplative on the inside that permeates my thinking. I've had a lot of negative stuff happen to me the last year, and only recently have I experienced the most depressive phase of my life. I tried an antidepressant, but I have a hard time taking pills (just don't like pills), so I'm trying to help myself naturally.

I have found, for me, I really truly need to consciously nurture myself day by day, one day, heck, one *minute* at a time. Catch yourself when you find yourself thinking negatively and try to alter it. Talking to a group like this is probably going to be a bit of a consolation, too. Sometimes interaction can be a wonderful remedy for the blues. Maybe different physical activities would be helpful, yoga, walking, just being outside, oh anything. I've been meditating more regularly myself, and tho it's hard to keep still and patient, it pays off. 15 minutes a day has helped me approach living with a tad more calm. I started about a month ago.

Oh boy, I am rambling. I just feel so much like I could be in your place. It's not a nice, sunshiney place to be and I am so sorry and I truly hope you can get help, help yourself, become healthy...I'm 25, too. A friend of mine who is 10 years older said to me that she went thru many depressive episodes in her "terrible twenties." She said she couldn't wait to get to her 30's-- she feels so much more confident, self-assured, focused now that she's older. So I guess it's (hopefully) normal. It *is* a turbulent time, caught between a recently experienced youth and learning to function as an adult. Takes time, I guess. Oh my gosh, I just remembered I am 26! I get a bit loopy and absentminded when I'm depressed...

This may sound like a weird thing to say but in a way, seeing all these women posting on this board is kind of consoling...knowing you're not alone in feeling so funky. Makes you feel...normal. ;)

Honey, I wish you so much luck from my heart. Blessings to you.

Marissa

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2003
Tue, 01-27-2004 - 6:59pm
Thanks Marissa!

I had to laugh over you putting down your wrong age. I do that sometimes, too. My mood had uplifted a bit after lunch.

Thanks everyone.

Pamela

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2003
Tue, 01-27-2004 - 8:07pm
Sweetie, I can totally relate to what you're going through. I too have had my thyroid checked, rechecked and all that mess. The best thing that I've found, is that I take little naps, and excercise when I can. I can't tell you anything else, or what causes it, cause I don't feel too hot either. However, I can tell you that I am 25, and that I'm going through the same stuff you are. So, when you find out what's going on, maybe we can chat! Hang in there love, and know that you're an awesome friend, and things will get better for you! Take care, and keep your head up!

Trixie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Tue, 01-27-2004 - 11:10pm
i know what it feels like to have your own body (as well as your mind) getting the best of you. i have been in a slump lately myself because of my health issues. BUT sometimes it makes you feel better to do things one thing at a time. and sometimes even if it makes you tired or if you don't want to do something, it will make you feel better to have done it. like read a book or draw a picture or do anything you like to do. chocolate always makes me feel better too- especially when i am tired! i am 24, and i think it is a tough age we are at. we are adults and have to be in the "real world" as such, but we haven't been around long enough to have great jobs or even really know what we are doing or what we want to do. i get that runaway feeling alot. when i used to have a car, i would go for drives and it would make me feel better. and when it was warm, i would go for walks. maybe one of those things could help too. feel better, i know you will.