Frustrated, Angry, Unhappy...
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Frustrated, Angry, Unhappy...
| Tue, 01-27-2004 - 10:44am |
I am so miserable ladies. I am tired of being tired all the time, tired of having to force myself to take step after step. I just want to run away. Suicide isn't an option for me, but I just want to disappear. I feel like I have been keeping myself from a nervous breakdown for years and I want to throw my hands up and say okay nervous breakdown, it's your turn.
My meds don't really seem to be working anymore, but I have a referral to see a p-doc. But will I ever feel better? I mean, I am 25 and have felt this way for as long as I can remember. I am so tired of being tired all the time. I have taken every blood test known, had my thyroid checked and re-checked, taken all sorts of vitamins, and nothing has helped. There has got to be more to life than this. I wake up, get ready for work, work, come home, eat, check some emails, and lay on the couch like a dying person and then take a bath and go to bed.
I guess I do feel as if I am dying inside. I feel lost, alone, helpless, hopeless.
Pamela

Big hugs
Piruli
It IS nice to know that I am not alone.
Pamela
((((((((Pamela))))))))), I wish I could wiggle my nose and chase your fatigue.
My heart aches for the way you feel. It absolutely sucks, to feel so blah, nearly empty, little enthusiasm (well, that's where I'm coming from, anyway). Me, I go up and down. I've noticed the way I feel about myself largely has to do with the thoughts I'm thinking. Maybe some of it is chemical, but the mind has a lot to do with it, too, and if you're on a negative downward spiral, watchout! Depression-city.
I've had a melancholy disposition for as long as I can remember; happy on the outside, rather shadowy and contemplative on the inside that permeates my thinking. I've had a lot of negative stuff happen to me the last year, and only recently have I experienced the most depressive phase of my life. I tried an antidepressant, but I have a hard time taking pills (just don't like pills), so I'm trying to help myself naturally.
I have found, for me, I really truly need to consciously nurture myself day by day, one day, heck, one *minute* at a time. Catch yourself when you find yourself thinking negatively and try to alter it. Talking to a group like this is probably going to be a bit of a consolation, too. Sometimes interaction can be a wonderful remedy for the blues. Maybe different physical activities would be helpful, yoga, walking, just being outside, oh anything. I've been meditating more regularly myself, and tho it's hard to keep still and patient, it pays off. 15 minutes a day has helped me approach living with a tad more calm. I started about a month ago.
Oh boy, I am rambling. I just feel so much like I could be in your place. It's not a nice, sunshiney place to be and I am so sorry and I truly hope you can get help, help yourself, become healthy...I'm 25, too. A friend of mine who is 10 years older said to me that she went thru many depressive episodes in her "terrible twenties." She said she couldn't wait to get to her 30's-- she feels so much more confident, self-assured, focused now that she's older. So I guess it's (hopefully) normal. It *is* a turbulent time, caught between a recently experienced youth and learning to function as an adult. Takes time, I guess. Oh my gosh, I just remembered I am 26! I get a bit loopy and absentminded when I'm depressed...
This may sound like a weird thing to say but in a way, seeing all these women posting on this board is kind of consoling...knowing you're not alone in feeling so funky. Makes you feel...normal. ;)
Honey, I wish you so much luck from my heart. Blessings to you.
Marissa
I had to laugh over you putting down your wrong age. I do that sometimes, too. My mood had uplifted a bit after lunch.
Thanks everyone.
Pamela
Trixie