BACK IN PIT AND GIVING UP! TRIGGS?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2003
BACK IN PIT AND GIVING UP! TRIGGS?
4
Wed, 01-28-2004 - 2:18pm
I am so sorry to all you wonderful ladies but I am back in that pit again and I just know I can't go through it another time. I can't give to anyone anymore and all people want is for me to give and I can't do it. It is time for me to give up and give in. I have tried reading things that might help me I have tried doing things I used to enjoy. I have lost me and I don't know how to recover me. I am suppose to see Kara on Friday and I will go to that appointment because that is just the kinda of person I am but if she doesn't have any other solution other then hospitalization then it is over for me. Tired of up down up down. I want normalcy. Forget my birthday and happy birthday to all my lady aquarians. Love and Hugs Andrea
Avatar for all_girls4me
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 01-28-2004 - 2:27pm
Make room in the pit because I'm joining you. Don't know what to tell you but to hang in there and that I'll be thinking about you.

Hugs Ilka



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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Wed, 01-28-2004 - 3:02pm

Yeah I know sweeties... we all get that way sometimes... but the thing is.. if you look up from that pit you can see the sky and sun the whole world just waiting for you..


I dont have any rope on me right now, so im going to start filling that pit with Hugs... they are very fluffy and soft and you can stack them up like pillows and climb out.Purple Heart

*hugs             

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
Wed, 01-28-2004 - 8:06pm
(((((((Andrea))))))),
AcornLeaves
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Thu, 01-29-2004 - 6:49am
Andrea, girl, girl, girl ...

I know how it is in that pit. You feel like you are back there and that is where you always end up. I've been suicidal more times than I can count. For awhile it was my normal state. In fact, the only reason I went on antidepressants was because I felt like I was about to kill myself, so I figured I might as well try that one last option first. Thank God I did. I used to be so against medication. Wouldn't even take a Midol when I REALLY needed one.

I know you are on meds, so that doesn't help you.

I can't make you feel better. But I can say that YOU DON'T HAVE TO GIVE!!!

Just because you don't have anything to give right now doesn't mean you should kill yourself.

Set boundaries.

When I have nothing to give, I don't give anything. Not even to my dh. I say, "I got nothin' to give right now." He usually does a whole, "I don't want you to give" routine, but I ask him to just leave me be. Or I start crying. Either way, he eventually gets it.

You say you are "back in the pit." That means that you've been out of it. More than once. That means that it always ends.

The only I can do when I'm in the pit is lay in bed. I try to find the position that is the least emotionally painful. Know what I mean?

Oh, and Ben and Jerry's Fudge Brownie ice cream. Or Half Baked. That's half Fudge Brownie and half Cookie Dough. I believe that in point of fact Half Baked proves that there IS a God. I used to have a helluva time deciding. Fudge Brownie or Cookie Dough? Cookie Dough or Fudge Brownie? Then one day, as I approached the freezer isle in a muddled confusion about which to take, a light from heaven appeared as Half Baked! The two best Ben and Jerry's flavors combined into one incredible pint!

If God has time to do that for me, you know he's there for you too.

I hope you are smiling just a little at my insanity.

If chronically depressed, perpetually suicidal me can find a teensy bit of miraculous joy in artificially flavored, frozen cow's milk, there's hope for you too!


OK, if Half Baked isn't enough incentive for you (though that's hard for me to imagine), think of your dh. He loves you so much. He adores you. He can't even stand for you to be gone for one night. This would DESTROY him. You may not have anything to give right now, but could you emotionally destroy such a sweet, caring soul? You know you couldn't do that to him.

I'm glad you are going to your appointment. Til then lay in bed, eat chocolate, cry, whatever. But remember that the fog always lifts. We can't always will it to lift. But it will lift again. It always does. Sometimes that was all I had to hold onto. And it did.

All My Love,

MariaC