LONELY

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2003
LONELY
8
Thu, 01-29-2004 - 6:42pm
God I'm so lonely. I have one friend and I really don't consider her that great of a friend. I would never turn to her for comfort or support. I'm almost 30 and I'm dying of loneliness. Does anyone else have this issue?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
In reply to: zaphnia
Thu, 01-29-2004 - 7:01pm
Hi girlie! I myself have few friends here where I live. Really good, close, quality friends, I'm sure you know what I mean. A few I have up north (I live in FL), but I don't talk to them but once a month or so. Do you live on your own? It's not easy. I don't make friends easily (it's timidity), although I get along great with others mostly.Do you also have trouble making friends? Myself, even tho I don't have a lot of close friends, I try to get involved amidst people (for me, it's theatre and I'm starting some volunteer work) to help myself not feel so lonely, to feel satisfied, challenged, and get a few laughs. I don't know if this is helping you feel consoled, knowing you're not alone (even tho you may feel like it :), but I just wanted to send out a friendly note of compassion to you. Love and luck and many, many hugs to you,

Marissa

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2003
In reply to: zaphnia
Thu, 01-29-2004 - 7:10pm
Thank you. I do get out and volunteer but I still feel lonely. I really want what I see on TV and I think that's a major part of the problem. TV isn't reality. I'm not asking for a million friends. Just a few (or even just two) good ones. I'm turning thirty in 5 days and I feel so lonely and defective. I've always had problems making and maintaining friendships. But thank you for responding. I do appreciate knowing I'm not alone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2003
In reply to: zaphnia
Thu, 01-29-2004 - 7:46pm
Hey sweetie!

Just know that you always have friends here on the board! We all love ya! I know it's not the same as a "real" group of friends, however, know that we're here for you. I recently have been through the same feelings and emotions you are dealing with. I'm not sure where you live, however, I can suggest a few things. I live in Chicago, and they have a sport and social club. I've met a few people through there, also, I've met a few people through match.com. I know how terribly awful that sounds, however, just know that it's not all that bad. I've met them all at VERY public places, and have made a few friends through it. Sometimes you have to go through a bunch of unnecessary crap before you find out who your "REAL" friends are...I know. It's all part of growing pains. Right now I'd say I have maybe two or three close friends, and my brother to rely on. It's not the quantity, it's the quality of friends that you have. Keep that in mind. Hope that this helps a bit, and know that we're all here for you!

Love ya

Trixie

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
In reply to: zaphnia
Fri, 01-30-2004 - 10:27am


I know how you feel about the lonliness, I could be surrounded by a million people and still feel alone.

I dont live alone I share a house with my sister and 4 year old Neice, but still most of the time I feel alone.

I have learned something though that it doesnt matter how many friends you have that doesnt complete you nor does it make you who you are..Ya I know how hard it is to feel like there is no one around ut sometimes you need to look at the reason why?

Like me for instance I have always been a very social person I have always had a huge group of friends but over time that huge group started to dwindle to only two or three, one passed away one went to jail others got into heavy drugs, and others just lost touch, but the real friends the ones who promised to always be there are still here and that is only two people and you know what that is fine for me right now,.

Sometimes we do things with out even noticing that we are doing it, I meet peolpe but I never call them I get afraid or something I think that if I meet new people and they find out about me being bipolar they are not going to want to stick around or what if they see my meds then how do I explain that or if they see my scars from cutting then what? and thus those questions keep me back from people and alone and lonley..

I would try to volunteer are you an animalo lover? if so the huname society is always looking for peole to help out and it is so rewarding to help animals that no one wanted I would love to do that kind of work but no humane society in my area the one we had closed for lack of funds.

what is something that you really like doing?

think about it and go out and do ityou would be surprised how many people you meet.

good luck hun and the lonliness wotn last forever.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2003
In reply to: zaphnia
Fri, 01-30-2004 - 12:47pm
you really aren't alone in feeling like you do. i know i have no friends, except for my boyfriends friends, and they really aren't my friends. i have my sister and my mom, but it isn't the same as having a good friend to just talk about everything with. you are among friends here at the board. the ladies here are so wonderful (sometimes they forget that)and are a great source of comfort for me. i hope to see you around the board. best wishes. ~s
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2003
In reply to: zaphnia
Fri, 01-30-2004 - 1:17pm
Oh, yeah, definitely! It was worse when my sister was away in Kansas, but now that she is back it is a little better, but the only friend I have is to "self-absorbed" I too feel incredibly lonely. Where do you live? Sometimes there are groups at libraries that you can join to meet someone. That is why I come here to the boards, I get great support and have made more friends in the last 2 months than I have had in my whole life! I am falling into a depression now, and it is getting worse, so I know exactly how you feel. It hurts, but I am trying to make new friends!

Love and hugs,

Nadine


Edited 1/30/2004 1:19:48 PM ET by deenie1979

Nadine - deenie1979

jesussig.jpg image by nadine1979

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
In reply to: zaphnia
Fri, 01-30-2004 - 4:30pm

Welcome, (((((((Zaphnia)))))))!

AcornLeaves
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2003
In reply to: zaphnia
Fri, 01-30-2004 - 6:15pm
Thank you for all your support. Its really nice to see I'm not the freak I thought I was. I always think my problems are so unique and that I'm the only one who suffers and that that makes me so sort of a reject. Thank you for sharing and showing all your support. I really appreciate it. I'm just having a really hard time right now. I really appreciate your kindness. Thank you.