hi new here

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
hi new here
2
Mon, 02-02-2004 - 12:17pm
Hi I'm new here and would like to introduce myself...I'm 23 and 6 months pregnant with twins. I've been depressed for a few years now mainly due to a past relationship I had with my ex for 8 years. He was very hurtful and mean. He didn't love me at all just held on to me because he liked what I could do for him. I left him a year and a half ago because I just couldn't take it anymore. He betrayed me and hurt me in so many ways and had no remorse for what he did. Since I left I've tried dealing with my life and everything in it. Before I left him I had a good job went to school enjoyed life without him but for some reason I couldn't leave him completely alone. I loved him so much and was so despreat for his love so I continued to stay in his life while he lied and told me he wanted to be with me and loved me all along having someone else and he could pick me up when ever she didn't want him. I couldn't understand how after so many years you could treat someone like that. I still don't understand.

So anyways, I started a new life with someone else. He's a great guy and has been a great support for me through my rough times. We were friends before we were involved with each other. Shortly after we got together I got pregnant it wasn't that big of a deal seeing as though we had been in each others lives for a long time and knew each other. But then we found out we were having twins....needless to say I'm extremely scared. I'm worried with my emotional status I won't be a good mom. I've thought alot about adoption or giving up all rights to their father and just leaving. I know he would be a great father to them. I can't seem to get over the past it haunts me everyday. I cry myself to sleep I wake up crying and I'm just so unhappy and this should be the happiest time of my life. I've been unable to completely let my boyfriend in my life I just don't trust people. I'm afraid I'll go through the same things I went through before. Alot of the time I pick fights with him or just try to get on his nerves just to push him away. I think he'd be alot happier with someone else. I just don't know what to do. I feel so hopeless....and so scared. and I don't understand how I can be so stupid to allow someone who is so good a chance to leave. thank you to all who took time out to read this. Best wishes to all who are down and out.

Irene

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
In reply to: irene1009
Mon, 02-02-2004 - 12:45pm

Welcome, (((((((Irene))))))!

AcornLeaves
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
In reply to: irene1009
Mon, 02-02-2004 - 4:49pm

Welcome Irene!


First of all sweetie, your hormones are raging right now due the pregnancy so everything is a lot harder to deal with.. Dont think that wont make you a good Mom though... I know you are scared but its ok.


I understand too about having issues of trust after being hurt like you were. I think it would probably really help if you could talk to your doctor about seeing a Therapist for awhile, maybe even you and your BF going together.

*hugs