Not sure what to say.... triggers?
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| Mon, 02-02-2004 - 10:20pm |
They told me about the next study. A prozac study. Let's just say SSRI's and I don't work. (Muscles spasms galore) Then on top of that the max dose is half of what is effective for me.
So this doc is not the one who has been following me in these 12 weeks of the study. So he says that I "must get everything" as in I invent side effects....as in a am a hypochodriac....he knew nothing about me. I am incredibly sensitive to changes in my body. I am elite athlete....I know my body really well.
He treated me like a child who knew nothing. There I was no sleep...not allowed to take sleeping meds the day before the study exam. So I had no sleep, woke practically every hour.
And then this idiot man treats me like that. I cried...he was supposed to do some sort of brief exam of me.....I told the nurse practitioner who had taken care of me during the study that I had been offended by him. How dare he presume that I don't know anything. He stepped into my data knowing nothing and then upset me. I did not want to see him, much less some sort of exam. But I did not want to invalidate my data, she said I was ok with no exam.
I have been on nine stinking meds.....I know what worked (but gave me horrible side effects) and what didn't and I know that I was at very high doses of them all. I am a fast metabolizer...I blow through meds quickly. So quick that I often had to be on twice the dose of normal.
I told him that that mg of prozac would not do snot for me. He told me...not with that attitude. Sensitive guy, my ninth med has failed and you are offering me a study for a med that is in a family of meds that I know don't work for me.
I am rambling and still upset. sorry.
I am so tired of this illness. It has taken so many things away from me. I am not sure I know how to fight anymore.
Thanks for listening.
sending hugs and good thoughts your way.
take care,
Lisa-)

I don't know what to say, I have no great advice.
I just wanted to send you some much needed ((((((hugs)))))) and to let you know that I am thinking of you.
Take care
Pamela
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Lisa Sweetie))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
I can't say much, more than I am sooooo sorry.
(((((((((((((((Lisa)))))))))))))))))))
Sorry things arent working out,, I agree that you know your body better then any doctor ever could so you were so right to say what you did..
Im going to throw sometime really bizarre out here... Have you considered trying NO Meds for awhile hun? Sort of Detox your body?
*hugs
Pamela, just thinking of me is sooooooo sweet.....I do feel it. Always so kind for a friend to simply say, "I don't know what to say" "But I care and I am here." How wonderful you are!!!
Tracy, I do wish I could have kicked my doc. As for my fast metabolism...I think of me as a muscle machine....we exercise geeks call our muscles metabolic tissue. So that is why I think I burn through meds. A theory the doc "poo-poo"-ed and patronized me with. Pardon me for having a masters degree in a field you (the doc) know nothing about!. Why are docs so assured that they are god anyway????? Thanks for the sympathy!
Barb, thanks for the good thoughts and the article. I think everyone should take a look. I suggested posting it elsewhere for all the board to see. What do you think? Thanks for being so sweet. You are a fantastic addition CL-wise to our already wonderful CL's. GOOD JOB!!!!!!!!! Keep it up, but know that you are human too. If you need us, don't feel pressure to be "OK" let us hold you up, like you are so good for us.
Caly, As for going off meds. I have no choice. I have tried them all. None left.lol. So, I am going to read that book you read with your therapist. (What a geek I am, to use the post I started...hehehehe). Thanks for your (as always) unconditional support.
WOW, somedays you people make it hard to feel hopeless and lost. Oh wait, that is the point!!!!!!!!
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
You guys are awesome.
Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.
Take care,
Lisa-)
Trix