question for all?????????

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
question for all?????????
2
Thu, 02-05-2004 - 3:00pm
Why is it that we would rather be certain we are miserable than risk being happy????

simple question really when you think about it..

Marnie asked me that question but not in so many words, she asked why get out of bed in the morning???

I told her to go to work pay my bills take care of my son and dog have a roof over my head a car to drive ect......

she said that those are great answers but too obviouse I agree.

I told her that I was afraid to be happy that each time I try to be happy it doesnt last so I have become accustomed to being miserable all the time and actually grew used to it and am now afraid to be happy to experiance pure joy in my life.

I told her that I started on the diet pills again that I feel huge fat ugly not saying they are the truth but just what I feel how I cant eat with out the guilt another thing to be unhappy about.

So I would like to know some of your answers to that question up above why would we rather be certain we are miserable than risk being happy???????

Erin

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Thu, 02-05-2004 - 4:22pm

I dont think we want to be certain we are miserable hun, but as you yourself say,,, Being Happy involves Risk... its not something that is going to last forever and I think we forget that,, or rather we have come to believe that if happiness is not going to last its not worth having at all and That is SO not true!


I recently read something that I think is very appropriate here... Its about an old english blessing that wishes people "ENOUGH"


*hugs             

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Fri, 02-06-2004 - 12:01am
because when we are miserable, there is no turn for the worse. we don't have to watch our happy life fade as we have before. and when you have suffered from depression enough, it becomes what is comfortable. some people may have anger streaks or get moody, we get miserable and that is something that is (sadly) familiar and comfortable. it even becomes our identity- not that we want it to be. we relate to people as a miserable entity- people to commissurate with, people to comfort us, even those who cause it sometimes. and it is hard to break that mold. when we risk being happy, we have everything to lose. when we are miserable, we have already lost it, and when you are at the bottom you hope that means you can no longer fall. that's my two cents.