Where am I? Triggers?

Avatar for legs2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Where am I? Triggers?
9
Fri, 02-06-2004 - 6:33pm
I saw a show today about a 40 year old who was complaining that she was 40. In the show she had 3 gorgeous kids...and a happy marriage.

I would kill to be 40 and in that place. I would kill just to have had a kid and maybe not have a husband right now.

How did some of you do it? I have been reading the ten things. I tried to write it a few times, but it just made me cry about the stuff I don't have. Some of you have been brave enough and lucky enough to have had kids twice! Even if the first marriage did not work, you were still lucky enough to start over.

I have not even started. I feel like my life has not even begun yet.

I am still having the end of my meds side effects. I can't wait until I am clear of this med.

I need to start something......anyone know why an attractive 34 year old who looks 27 can't find someone to be with.

Maybe it does not help that my cranky ex (who emotionally abused me), is dating someone right in front of me. We train at the same facility. Don't say it, I do an obscure sport and there is NO way to train anywhere else. Of course, I think he is still dating the other girl he was dating (who is 9 years younger than he) (yes, he needs many many women to hold him up...poor thing..lol).

His dating someone does not bother me, I am actually sooooooo happy to be away from his unhealthiness...The part that bothers me is that he is TOTALLY inept in communication yet he gets people to date him. God, give me peices of information....like the fact that he is dating two women. The fact that this relationship is on again, off again.....


But why does a complete smuck get to have too many people and I don't get any???

I don't want you to think I don't like my alone time. I like living alone. I actually don't battle loneliness too bad. I just feel like I want my life to fianlly start.

I was dating a guy last year, who did not want kids and that is what broke us up...but I loved him, it just feels like a total waste of a year.

Why does that biological clock tick quite so loudly? Don't you think I'd be a good mommy? Why am I not getting any opportunities...I am trying to decide which online dating thing to try. I guess I could make my moments.

Sorry, just rambling and completely bummed out. So tired all the time.

Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.

Lisa-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2003
Fri, 02-06-2004 - 7:00pm

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Lisa}}}}}}}}}}


I am so sorry you feel so down.

Nadine - deenie1979

jesussig.jpg image by nadine1979

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Fri, 02-06-2004 - 8:56pm




((((((((((((((((((((((Sweetie,)))))))))))))))))))))))))


I really understand how you feel.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Fri, 02-06-2004 - 10:30pm

(((((((((((((((((((((((Lisa))))))))))))))))))))))))))))


Hun, you are an incredibly beautiful person!!!!! The only answer I can come up with as to why your ex has "no problem" getting dates is because either he or his dates (or both) are very shallow people.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Sat, 02-07-2004 - 10:02am




Lisa,

Hun this ex of your is so not worth your time and frustration he seems to me to be the worlds biggest jerk and the women he is dating seem to be not so bright to see the person that he really is.

The clock ticking away thing, well in my opinion if you feel that you are ready for a child and are ready for being a single mom go for it I feel that you would be a great mom.

As for the dating thing I am in your boat it seems to me that everyone else in the world has someone but me and it hurts alot but I figure that both you and I are not with someone because we have had enough Mr. wrongs that it is our time to wait for our Mr. rights, try not to let it get to you someone will come your way when you least expect it.

I am sorry if I havent helped much alot floating around in the old brain.

I hope that things start to look up for you soon, we all deserve happiness.

Erin

Avatar for legs2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 02-07-2004 - 10:21pm
Nadine, Thank you for your inspirational stories. I really needed them. I do appreciate the time you taking the time to answer my post. You were very kind in your words.

Thanks again,

Sending hugs and good thoughts your way,

Lisa-)

Avatar for legs2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 02-07-2004 - 10:38pm
Trac, I don't think single motherhood will be happening for me. I can barely take care of myself. I am doing a pretty poor job of it now. So being a mom is not an option.

Thank you so much for your post. You are sooo right too, I'd rather be alone than with a loser.

Thanks for that reminder.

Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.

Take care,

Lisa-)

Avatar for legs2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 02-07-2004 - 10:48pm
Traci, wow are you awesome at this support stuff. I have read your post over a few times. I read the others too.....it is so nice to have supportive friends.

Thank you for reminding me that I deserve more! I just needed a friend to tell me just that.

Thank you!

Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.

Take care,

Lisa-)

Avatar for legs2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 02-07-2004 - 10:58pm
Erin, how kind of you to be sympathetic and to take the time to tell me. I know that sometimes that can be hard when you are depressed; to tell someone that you are in the same boat.

Thanks for being so sweet and wonderful.

Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.

Take care,

Lisa-)

Avatar for legs2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 02-08-2004 - 8:00pm
Bump! Just want to make sure you wonderful folks see my thank you to you all! Hugs, Lisa-)