on my mind- poss. trigs but not bad
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| Sat, 02-07-2004 - 1:49am |
so, i have been working this auto show for an old friend of my mom's. now that i am doing it i realize that she was takikng advantage of me and my best freind who i got to do it with me. she went back on lots of promises and has been a tyrannt boss. for weeks before it started (it started wed.) and until yesterday she has been calling me and barking orders at me, treating me like an ant she is squashing, and basically degrading me and making me feel abused. i would have quit for anyone else, but it was a family thing and on top of that even though the money is a slap in the face itself, i really need it. i think it is getting better, and i am not doing it every day- i am letting other girls take my shifts. but her verbal abuse (which goes back to a few years ago when i stayed at her house for a few months and got so physically ill from stress that i ended up in the hospital- which i only know can equate her to without a doubt)is so bad that it brings up old memories that i don't want to relive again. i have been feeling like that abused kid again, and i don't want to feel that way. i have been so down on myself and i really feel like i was abused and i hate the sitation i am in. i really really hate money.
i am tired of living in a neighborhood of rich people sometimes. i pay $850 for an old studio and i watch these rich kids live in luxury on their parents' money and have jobs set for them and never worry about any of this while they wear their prada. i just want to be able to pay my bills without worrying that i need to choose medicine over eating this month. i have some money saved, but iu am always so scared that i will get to a state of depression that i will not be able to work, or a state of physical illness with my stomach problems- that i want to save that money for emergency.
in the midst of all of this worrying about money, my old boss- a rich guy who fired me because he didn't want to pay me my measly salary and lied to me and told me i was gettijng a raise and then let me go with no notice and no severence- emailed me to say that my unemployment was in question and i needed to contact him. i called the office and after the guy who i was fired so they could afford to pay tried to tell me that a lawyer was telling them that they diodn't have to pay unemployment- i lost it. i finally told him not to call or contact me again totalk tot hte government if he had unemployment questions and to address anything further to my lawyer (my dad). i then called my dad to tell him and started crying. he kind of tried to make me feel better, which is good for him.
i just got back from dinner with my boyfriend and his friends. i was so miserable before we left i had a hard time being a good conversationalist- VERY rare for me. his girl friends and i were all sitting together and they totally acted like they were buddies and i was not one of them- even though they know me. i felt like a left out loser and drank 2 glasses of sangreia (alot for me). the only good thing was my boyfriend who is a doll and i didn't have the energy to pour all of this out to him tonight- he was tired and going to bed and i thought i would fall rright asleep too. which is another thing- we are stiull not sleeping over together regularly- but everything else is going so well i think i need to let that go. ok, i'm done now. emotional purge! thank you so much if anyone is listening.

big huge hugs to you sweetie...............
I am sorry that things are so rough for you right now.
I cant believe your old employer is being such a jerk by law they have to pay you unemployment they fired you, you got a pink slip from them so now they need to pay up.
As for the friend of the family that you are working at the auto show for well she sounds like a major you know what, no one has the right to speak to another human being in sucha tone that it makes them feel abused and I mean no one, who does she think she is anyways, for someone who is supposed to be such good friends with your family ahs doesnt act like it, I would say if you didnt need the money I would just leave walk away from her and the show, but I know that you need the money and I am so sorry that you have to go through this just to get the money.
I am glad to hear that your dad is trying to help you out and make you feel better.
As for the way you feel about these rich kids well I can relate to you on that topic, I am not a believer that a parent should hand their child anything in life for free a parent should not have a nice cozy job waiting for their child when they grow up a parent should not support an adult child and a parent should not shelter a child from the world.
I know people that have graduated college and had a nice little cozy job and appartment waiting for them that their parents got for them and I dont agree and I also know people that didnt want their parents money they wanted to work and get thier own money and make their own life so there is two sides of the coin.
That sucks that your boyfriends friends girlfriends were not being so nice to you women can be very cady and they can be very jealious and mean to other women especially to those they feel are a threat to them, dont worry about it they dont seem to be worth your time.
As for the boyfriend dont worry too much about the situation with him just enjoy being with him and be hapy.
I hope that anything that I have said has been helpful.
Please try to be happy I know att imes it is hard but you are such a great person and you deserve all the happiness in the world.
Erin