I'm afraid of loosing my mother (trigs)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
I'm afraid of loosing my mother (trigs)
4
Sun, 02-08-2004 - 5:27pm
I have been depressed today. I have been laying around and all I can think about is my mother dying. She has emphysema and she still smokes. I hate her smoking. I have never smoked so I don't know what it is like to quit but I do understand that it is a drug so quitting would be difficult. She says she wants to quit smoking and she will cut down but never gets to the end of smoking. She is on oxygen and has to use a nebulizer and inhalers. She has been diagnosed with emphysema now for about 5 years. For the past three days she has had bad congestion and sinus problems which is causing her breathing to be very bad. She told me today that last night she woke up 3 times not being able to breath. I am afraid that one of those times she won't wake up, but sufficate. I just can't get the picture out of my head her lying ther ih bed sufficating to death.

My mom is my best friend and always has been. I feel very fortunate and blessed that I had a close relationship with my mother. My mother is only 60yrs old but sometimes it is like she is 80 yrs old. I feel helpless in helping her stop smoking and even if she does qiut she will always have problems with breathing and the oxygen, nebulizer and inhalers will not stop the doctor said. I am sure stopping smoking will help some though. I just lost my brother in November and my sister and I are not that close. I don't have anyone in my family I am close to, no aunts, uncles or cousins. Loosing her will devestate me. I am 36 yrs old and I am afraid of my mom not being there. I guess it doesn't matter how old you are when you loose someone(or the thought of it)is scary. I just needed to vent this to get out my feelings. It is great being able to post my feelings, fears and thoughts here.

Tina~

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2003
Sun, 02-08-2004 - 9:53pm
I am so sorry that you are feeling this way. I am not a smoker either so I have no idea how hard it is to quit. You will never know for sure how much time you have with your mother. So take every day as a blessing and try to enjoy it. My mom and I are very close also. I am very sorry about your brother. I just hope you start feeling better and thinking more positively!

Yavonne


Wife to Devin since May 12, 2001


Angel born to heaven August 20, 2002


Mommy to Bunny (Aaliyah) July 29,2003

Photobuck
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2004
Fri, 06-25-2004 - 11:34pm
Dear Tina, I hope you can understand about smoking, It is a very strong addiction. I smoked for 42 years,but I finally quit in march, I finally deceided I wanted to breath! I am still on oxygen and I will for the rest of my life. Your Mom needs your prayers and love.

bluebird
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Sat, 06-26-2004 - 1:52pm

Tina,


You said you have a hard time understanding how hard it is for you mother to quit smoking.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Sat, 07-03-2004 - 11:37pm
Dear Firelight,

I lost my mother 5 months ago and i used this message board as a way to talk out about something that really messes you up. My Mom had cancer of the ovaries and if her Doctor would have done a complete hysterectomy on her instead of a partial, she would still be alive today. Losing your Mother is very hard and spend as much time as you can with her while she is still alive. Keep writing. The people on this web site can be a great comfort and i personally want to thank everyone. I haven't been on here in months and i have been trying for months to deal with my life without my mom. She was 72 when she passed and i alway thought she would live to be 100. Until this she was the healthiest person alive. I wish the best for you.

rann