is it happening again?? (another guy)
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| Sun, 02-08-2004 - 7:46pm |
he called me yesterday morning on his way to go do an errand with a friend. he said he'd get back to me later (i figured he meant in the afternoon or evening). i've heard nothing since, & it's sunday evening. i realize he might've gotten together with a friend to practice yesterday (they play music together), but when i asked him about that during the morning call, he said he wasn't absolutely sure about it, & wasn't going to sit around waiting for the guy. there was a slight chance that he'd come up by my niece & i, who were planning to just sit around watching videos. (note: when i asked him if that'd be really boring to him, he said "not really") so i figured he got busy yesterday & definitely expected a call this a.m. or at least this afternoon - but nothing so far.
i hate jumping to conclusions, but late last fall a short but intense relationship ended with someone else (i should've known better to get involved with someone with a big drinking problem, especially when they'd just broken up with a girlfriend - this time it would be different i thought becuz i wouldn't be a rebound, & he's already quit drinking a couple years ago). i sat around wondering, worrying at that time - knowing the worst had happened.
though i saw different things from this particular guy (& you don't have to point out to be how new this all is), i can't help thinking the worst when i haven't heard from him. he's such a "caller" if you can understand what i mean. he so wants to find someone he can form what he calls a "well rounded" relationship with, & needs someone he can communicate with....so far it seemed like he'd found the beginnings of that.
am i jumping to conclusions too fast becuz of my last bad experience? or should i worry...

well I have a few questions for you.
Are you dating this guy or just talking?
Have you tried phoning him today?
How long exactly have you been talking to him?
Is is possible he just got caught up with something so therefore he hasn't called?
If I'm understanding your post correctly I wouldn't worry about him not calling. Especially if you guys have just become acquainted with one another. I think growing an attachment very early is dangerous because there are truly no commitments made at this point but your hoping for the best. So you don't want to get hurt...If I were you I would wait a few days and see if he calls and if he doesn't call him. Find out why he hasn't called it seems as though you have a good base for a relationship with this guy so I'm sure him not calling is innocent.
As for there not being anyone out there for you...well there is but maybe this is your time for you. Maybe to sort out some of your issues with past relationships if there are any. Maybe focus on your work, school or hobbies. We all have someone and I know sometimes it seems like we'll never be happy with a guy but they are out there. I personally believe in focusing on myself and make sure I'm happy with me and then I'll be happy with who ever is around me and they'll be happy with me.
As for you feeling like you've wasted a year of your life with someone, I don't think you've wasted a year of your life I think you've gained a year with new experiences and lessons learned. Was this person worth spending a little of your time with? Hopefully he was and hopefully you've learned something from him good or bad. And it's a good thing you got away from your abusive ex. I've been in that same boat except it took me 8 years to realize he was not good for my health. But I guess you live and learn.
I hope I was somewhat of a help to you. I hope he calls soon so you won't be worried about it anymore because I know the feeling and it's not fun.
Take care!
Irene
EDD 05/25/04
B/G twins
this guy..the "present" (past?) one...he's been unsure about my feelings about him or the possible future with him. he'd taken a mistake i made on a postcard i'd sent him wrong (it said he should make a trip southward, when i live northward - an honest, dumb mistake on my part) - he had half-wondered if i wasn't trying to tell me to get lost... so he's not absolutely confident in the situation, but neither am i. i'm just confused becuz he's been the one calling a lot - i know he hasn't been dating anyone cuz he's spent almost every night with me on the phone. but when someone calls you on saturday a.m. & they say they'll call later, & then you still haven't heard by monday afternoon - well you start thinking that maybe someone DID come along that he found interesting during that time...
i've spent most of my non-married years totally alone (i was only married for 8.5 years), so i really don't need this "alone" time...i have plenty - too much, in fact. when i finally meet someone who i feel i can relate to (few & far between), i can't help but feel hopeful & happy. easily hurt, too.
i feel weird calling now, since i haven't heard for a few days, but i sent an email saying that now *i* was the puzzled one (instead of him about that postcard thing). he isn't where he can check his email often, so might not get it for days.
anyway, thanks for commenting.