Hoping for advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
Hoping for advice
5
Fri, 02-13-2004 - 10:16pm
Hi everyone, I am new to the board. Hope someone can give me advice. My husband was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in September. At that time it kicked my depression into overdrive. I was feeling better after a trip to the hosp. and counseling, but now I have these same feelings again. My husband's counselor asked him to talk with another bipolar patient. He is spending most of his free time talkng to him. I mean like 2-3 hours on the tele each night. We have little time for each other because of his work and my work & school. It told him I am tired of feeling neglected all of the time. My Dr thinks that my current feeling are situational, and wants me to see my counselor again. How do I get through this until then? My hubby believes he is the reason I feel like this...which he is part of the reason. I can't be totally honest about that, and tell him he isn't the reason that I feel like this. (I know there are other complicating factors) Sorry this is so long winded. Thanks for your time and support. Jess:(
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 02-15-2004 - 7:56am
Hi Jess, I hope you are getting some rest this weekend. I'm sorry I don't have any advice on bi-polar; I have a history of depression myself but my husband does not. I can only imagine how hard it must be in a relationship when you are both dealing with these kinds of problems. Please keep posting here, it's a good place with good people and you'll see that you are not alone (which was certainly helpful to me). Kassie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Sun, 02-15-2004 - 8:27am

Hi Jess!


Welcome to the board! Greetings

*hugs             

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2003
Sun, 02-15-2004 - 9:37am

Hello -


While I do not have a DH with depression or bipolar. I suffer from depression and I have a best friend who has bipolar. Perhaps I can offer a few words of support.


When I am depressed it is nearly impossible for me to explain how that feels to anyone who has not been through it; so I can sympathize with you for not being able to explainhow you feel to your husband especially when it would be hard to say that his current diagnosis is prodding the depression along at least in part.


The thing with bipolar is he most likely also has lows so he can relate to that. I like the suggestions of seeing someone together even if it is once or twice. It might help you get your feelings out (which sometimes can lessen depressive feelings) and also have both of you better understand where the other is coming from.


Having been a close friend to a bipolar for years

Smoochdog (aka Michelle)


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2004
Sun, 02-15-2004 - 10:52am
(((((HUGS)))))

Sorry to hear about your husband's diagnosis. I would like to know, if you hear what they are saying, is there conversations uplifting, or is it usually depressing? If they spend 3 hours depressing each other, then that is definitely not healthy for him or for you. I think that maybe you, your husband, and his friend could go see a movie or go out to dinner together so you can all talk together. Then, you wouldn't feel so neglected and lonely. Have you talked to your husband about this? Don't tell him that it is his fault. Just say that you and him haven't been able to spend much time together recently, and you would like just some time with him alone.

I believe you should go see a counselor again, because all this stress you are under is definitely not good for you. Maybe he/she could help you cope with everything that you are feeling now, so that you won't be feeling so down. Whatever works for you.

Take care, and I hope things get better.

(((((HUGS)))))

Kathryn

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2003
Sun, 02-15-2004 - 7:23pm

Hi Jess,


Along with the help you have received here already, let me give you the link to our Bipolar board in case you or your husband would like to get more information and support there.


http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-bhbipolar


Bipolar Disorder Overview:


http://www.ivillagehealth.com/library/nwh/content/0,,215912_269239,00.html


Symptoms:


http://www.ivillagehealth.com/experts/emotional/qas/0,11816,242102_175043,00.html


IVHealth Ruth Ann
Community Leader/Ask the Health Librarian