I don't understand, and info
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I don't understand, and info
| Mon, 02-16-2004 - 9:23pm |
I really appreciated all the hugs and support this past couple of days.
| Mon, 02-16-2004 - 9:23pm |
I really appreciated all the hugs and support this past couple of days.
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I know you are and that is the great thing about our friendship, is that I know you are only that little bit away.
Trixie,
You know you are probably right, I just need to do it.
Traci,
Thank you so much for the offer and the understanding.
Deb,
Thank you for your thoughts too.
I know that things are difficult for you now and that you are attempting to cope. If you recall, when Ron took the kids (we met after that happened), i buried myself in work, school, and anything else i could. I really believe that that is why i did so well, because I jumped in so deep, i did not have to deal with the reality of my kids being gone. I did work out, i managed to make wonderful, lifelong friends and change the direction of my life. It is a long process and we all adjust in our own way. You are going through similar things, although i do believe you have isolated yourself from many things that you love. Perhaps it is a "fear," a fear of loss. Things have not been the same since the jerk changed everything for you. You lost the support you had in more than just him. Your kids went through a trauma as well. My best advise is for you to reach out to those things you "love" and know that they "love" you too and will not fail you, but help you to attain the things that you desire.
You are a marvelous painter, even if it is not the traditional "Painting." It is your family's loss that they cannot see beyond a landscape into what you have done. It is a true statement and open for anyone to read as they choose. Your use of color is just amazing, and i wish i had you hear now to help me choose some color for my kitchen. Follow your heart, nurture yourself with things you love, and don't worry about anybody else's view. you know we givee 100% for ourselves, really, not the others who recieve it, as they always expect more.
AS for Fun, i often ask myself the same thing. I know what my kids consided "fun," but that no longer fits into my old bones as fun. Fun can be anything you enjoy. I enjoy certain television shows, seeing my friends, starting and completing new projects and/or crafts. I know you time is limited. i have recently discovered that by forcing myself to take an hour a day just for me, has made a wonderful dent in my depression issues. At first i was just doing crossword puzzles, and now i am crossstitching again, which is "fun" so to speak for me. We have discussed it before, painting is a great outlet for you, you should take advantage of it. Join a class or a book reading group, something, where you can get out and meet people, something that will fit into your schedule and not jam it up more and make it more difficult. You live somewhere that that should not be too difficult.
keep in touch with those you "love" and who "love" you. surround yourself with "love" and know that it is there just for you.
I do love you and miss you so very much. Wish we were together again.
and my turn, sorry for the book
thank you sweetie,
I know you understand more that anyone all the things I have gone through and I am sitting here with tears in my eyes, because your words touched me so.
Take care trac,
Love you
Chele
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