New here...I'm a mom and sometimes

Avatar for suzie_2
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
New here...I'm a mom and sometimes
4
Tue, 02-17-2004 - 12:26am
I don'tlike being a mom. Does anyone else feel like this or am I the only bad evil mother? I'm so depressed because sometimes I just want to be away from them yet I don't want anyone else taking care of my girls but me. Yet, the other part of me is I want to go off by myself ALOT AND I MEAN ALOT WITHOUT THE KIDS....!!! Sometimes I feel like I can't handle this that maybe I shouldn't have become a mother, BUT I LOVE MY KIDS. I feel so bad for saying that I don't know what to feel. I feel abnormal sometimes because of how I think that I must be the only one who doesn't like being a mom sometimes. It's like I don't like the day to day things of being a mom but yet I see the kids and we have fun together.

I'm sorry that i'm just rambling on I will understand if I'm not welcomed here anymore. I feel so selfish because I just want to go and do things without my kids so I can have peace to myself but I feel that I want that too often. What's wrong with me? Why can't I enjoy my children like I see all the other moms do. My daughters are 6 and 4. Also, I feel so awful to say this but sometimes I notice that when family members are around that I want them to see that I'm a good mom so I go overboard and I kind of feel like I'm faking it (being a good mom) just so that they'll think I'm the best and then I'll think why do I do that to get their approval, why don't I just do that for my kids because I want to do it for them? See, what is wrong with me? I heard someone say once on a talk show that motherhood SUCKS 80% of the time and that's how I feel. Am I really that bad?

Am I too selfish?

Thanks for letting me vent. I would really appreciate anyone to help me or just talk with me.

Suzie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Tue, 02-17-2004 - 6:58am

((((((((((((((SUSIE)))))))))))))))))) Welcome to the board!!


You are not a bad Mom at all hun!!

*hugs             

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2003
Tue, 02-17-2004 - 8:57am
(((((Suzie)))))

I am not a mother, so I won't try to give you any advice.

I just wanted to send you some hugs and tell you that I HAVE read your post.

Take care sweetie

Pamela

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Avatar for all_girls4me
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-17-2004 - 12:08pm
Hi there and welcome. I am a mother of 3 girls that are 5,3 and 1.5. And I know exactly what you are talking about. I don't think you are a bad mom at all, hey.....then I'm a bad mom too. We all need time to ourselves and it makes us a better person and doesn't mean that we love our kids less. If I'm down on myself I don't wanna be around the girls too much because I feel like I can't be a good mother to them. So don't beat yourself up over it. We all tend to be on our best behaviour when other people are around. It's a tough job being a mom, and we need a break too, and not feel bad about it.

And yes, I've had the feeling too sometimes that I don't want my kids to be around, and I hate myself for it. You are not alone.

Ilka



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Registered: 10-18-2003
Fri, 02-20-2004 - 1:34am
Hi Suzie,

I just wanted to respond to your post because sometimes I feel the same way. I have an 11 yr old son, who by the way has become very difficult! Anyway, I usually plan to do things as a family but with our busy schedules it doesn't always work out. I find myself very irritable in the evening after work because there's the cooking and the clean up and the homework if necessary. I feel like I'm drowning in chores and things to do as a parent that I have grown to dislike it so much I've decided not to have any more children. I'm not that old but not that young either and my patience isn't what it used to be. I do make time for myself (I go to the gym 3-4 times a week, and I read when I can which is usually late at night) but it never seems to be enough. I do have to say when my son goes to stay with his grandma for the weekend (about once a month) I really enjoy the quiet time but I feel the weekend just isn't enough. I might add there are many other things going on in my life now that are adding to my irritableness but I know things will change eventually...they have to!

Don't beat yourself up over this and try to make more time for you. Does your son take naps? This could be a time for you to read or do whatever you enjoy doing. If you don't have someone to watch him, find someone. Get references from other moms. Having a babysitter is essential. Lastly, this won't last forever. Children grow up and move out on their own.

Take care of yourself!