Afraid & Confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Afraid & Confused
7
Tue, 02-17-2004 - 10:38am
Hi. I wrote to Catholic Charities for help. They are supposed to call me tomorrow. Hopefully it won't snow too bad so they will be open. I hope they don't ask me to come there. It's over 1 hour away & my husband wrecked our only car 2 Friday's ago. We were having an argument because I didn't want him to drive drunk. He grabbed me by the ears & started hitting my head against the window. He also punched me in the cheek. I laid down & pretended to sleep so he would stop, so I wasn't "co-piloting" like I usually do. He fell asleep & hit a wall, so now the car is messed up. I'm going to try to find some churches that might be able to help me. If anyone has any ideas or suggestions, or just a minute to say hi, I would really appreciate it. I could really use some emotional support right now. Thanks for listening. Hope to hear from someone. Take care of yourselves.

Patti
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Tue, 02-17-2004 - 1:08pm




((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Patti))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))0


Sweetie,


I know that it is hard to find someone when you are in a small place, is there a women's shelter near you. They may have resources that you can take advantage off.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Tue, 02-17-2004 - 1:45pm
Thank you so much for your time & advice. I feel so alone. I do have 2 daughters, ages 16 & 18. It hurts me knowing they are "learning to live w/it" like I did. My dad beat my mom for over 30 yrs. She didn't get out & that makes me wonder if I'm a sissy? My girls & my husband all think or pretend everything is ok the next day. I've left before, when the drugs, partying, drug dealers, drug addicts were too much for me to handle. I tried to find a place for me & my daughters, but I went back to them because I knew they were in the house I was running away from. (I didn't want to leave them, I had no place to go, I slept on street mostly, I left them because they are going to excellent school etc.) I think they still hate me for leaving. When it's good, it's "normal". We used to party every weekend & 3 or 4 days a week. With me leaving & trying to find help, it only happens once every 2 or 3 mths., but when it happens, it happens big & bad & destroys any progress we've made to straighten our marriage out etc. My husband doesn't understand that even if he only drives drunk 3 or 4 times a yr., that 1 time is all it takes for disaster. And when I do leave, I have to sacrifice a little of my mind, body & soul. And I have to come back to "Daddy" as my husband once put it. And my kids & even my animals look at me funny when I come back. They don't understand I'm doing it for them. I went to 2 Christian counselors & 2 Pastors, no help. They said I needed to get on anti-depressants & that my husband needed to come. But he never came. & I have no health insurance, no savings etc. I haven't worked in @4 yrs. I'm sorry to ramble on. It's so good to talk to someone. Thank you for listening & trying to help. Patti P. (P.S. Your message was so sweet, I almost cried. Thank you.)
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
Tue, 02-17-2004 - 2:13pm

((((((((Patti)))))))), what a terrifying experience!

AcornLeaves
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Tue, 02-17-2004 - 2:26pm
Dear Barbara,

Thank you once again for your help & advice. I will e-mail you shortly.

Patti P.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Tue, 02-17-2004 - 5:16pm
Patti,

You need to leave your husband right away.....find a womens shelter that you can go to you need to get away from this man before he kills you....

Please try to get out of that situation and take care of yourself...you are strong you can do it.

Erin

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-17-2004 - 5:23pm

Patti...


Please look into these hotlines.

    CL for The

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Wed, 02-18-2004 - 10:17am
Dear Deb, thank you so much for your message/time/help. I appreciate it very much. It's hard for me to even pick up the phone right now. I got some #'s for churches yesterday, but I haven't called yet. I keep thinking of everything I need to do, but it's so hard getting started. I want to check out the "surviving abuse" website that Barbara told me @ yesterday, but I'm waiting for Catholic Charities to call today, so I can't stay on-line too long (we don't have call alert). Thank you so much for your time & concern. I never thought I'd be one of those women who stayed "for the kids". I wondered why they did it, why my mother is staying for over 30 yrs. of physical abuse, I swore I'd never do it. But here I am doing it. When I get the time, I'll write down all of the phone #'s & places you & Barbara gave me. Right now, I need to get to a dr. & get some anti-depressants so I can think straight & hopefully be as strong as I used to be. I'm ashamed of myself & I feel so lazy & useless. I haven't stepped one foot out of the door since Saturday & before that not since Fri. the 6th (when the "incident" happened). Twice in 2 weeks. Well, have to go now, but thank you again. Patti P.