Over the edge
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Over the edge
| Wed, 02-18-2004 - 10:11am |
I just want to get sort of an opinion from all of you on my current situation. I met a wonderful guy at the end of October. We went out and had lots in common and things seemed to be going well. In January, he told me that he wasn't ready for a relationship and that he didn't want to date anymore. It was very devastating to me and caused me to go into a deep depression that was kinda like the straw that broke the camel's back. He's the type of guy whose not good with expressing himself emotionally, sympathetic or is very sympathetic. When I told him I was in the hospital he didn't call me, e-mail me or message me. I told him I had tried to overdose and he said that he wouldn't have acted as extreme as I did. (Maybe he's afraid that I'm some sort of psycho?) I see him online on the MSN messenger and he doesn't even tell me "hi". I have to be the one to initiate everything. Do I really deserve this or is there someone better out there? I met him through yahoo personals and I'm thinking if he placed an ad then why would he say that he wasn't ready for a relationship. He just has me confused and that's not helpful with my recovery. I just need some advice. Thanks!
Julie

Julie,
I am kinda confused maybe you could help me understand a bit better....by the way dont take the questions I am asking personal, it is to help me give better advice.
You wrote that you were devistated when he told you that he didnt want to settle down right now and that he didnt want to see you anymore, which is understandable rejection hurts no matter how it comes at you it is gonna hurt.
Did he ever tell you in the course of you two dating that he wanted to settle down?
did he give you the impression that you were the one?
was he upfront with you when you two first started to date?
You told him that you were in the hosptial, and that you tried to kill yourself did you overdose because he broke it off with you?
you guys dated for like 3 months right?
I can kinda understand why he isnt talking to you I have a friend who was dating a girl for a few months and she slit her wrists in front of him he freaked and now doesnt want to get involved with anyone right now he dates but is very upfront with this girl really freaked him out.
Maybe you freaked this guy out and that is why he doesnt want to talk with you, maybe the thougth of someone overdosing messed wiith his head maybe he does see you in a different light and feels it best to have no contact and maybe he is right.
I am sorry if I sound mean or cruel, but no man is worht killing yourself over, nothing is worth killing yourself over, there are going to be men in and out of your life until you find the right one that is just a fact of life, I do get upset when I meet someone and it doesnt work out, and I stay single for a while a few months or right now a year and thats okay I am just learning that it is okay to be alone for a bit it helps you get to know who you are and what you want out of a relationship and what you dont want, and it is obviouse that this man was not right for you.
If I were you I would no longer initiate contact with him move on with your life why go back to the past and he is the past as of the day he told you that he didnt want to date anymore he became a part of your past, go out enjoy yourself and your life.
Do not let someone get you so down to where you dont want to live it is so not worth it and killing yourself is a permanent solution to a temporary problem not only that but you end up hurting all of those who care about you it is the most selffish thing that a humane being can do weather you believe me or not it is ther is no act more selffish than that you leave those behind with so many question and such hatred a friend of mine her cousin shot himself and she hates him she doesnt miss him she hates him for what he did yes the family is sad but they are also very angry at him for what he did and the anger is stronger than the missing part of it and that is something that will never go away no matter how much time passes.
I attempted to kill myself ended up in the hospital and I saw how selffish I was to do that I saw the pain that it cause my mom and sister and I saw that I would leave behind a son that would hate me forever and now ya I get down but not enough to want to die by my own hand I know even in the dark that there is a light and that I will get thru it all and I will be able to live again.
You too have to believe that and once again this man is not worth your tears your death your sorrow your grief.
Erin
Julie
Like I said before, I was not meaning to be cruel but you were not very clear on why you tried to do it............
Did you let this guy know why you attempted suicide?
Do you blame him for not being there?
Do you understand where he is comming from?
I am sorry that you are going thru this I have been to the edge over it and back again , We all have been there at one point or another in our lives we all suffer drom depression bipolar disorder and many other things, I have been in debt I have lost things I have had a bad relationship with my family, I lost my son I lost my whole world at one point we all feel helpless and worthless the point is that it doesnt last forever.
We have all came out of it and ya we fall back but there is always a way out no matter how bad things are there is always a way out...
I have lost too many friends to death in my life these were people who didnt see a way out and if they only tried they would have seen light at the end of the tunnell and now they are gone and they will never know how things could have been and those left behind will never know how things could have been.
My sister is a single parent in debt up to her ears has a non existant relationship with my dad as so I and she is the happiest person that I know she was stressed and cried and felt helpless but she worked thru it and she is awesome there is a way out of things you just have to try.
I am not saying that you are a bad person but to those who know nothing about this disease and the way you feel when you are down to have someone tell you that you tried to kill yourself well it freaks them out me being bipolar and being down that road to hear of someone attampting to kill themselves freaks me out it is huimane nature.
I am sorry if I hurt you but you were not clear on why you did it all you talked about was this guy an dI know people shouldnt assume but I did and I thought you did it over this guy I am sorry.