Can anyone help?
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Can anyone help?
| Sun, 02-22-2004 - 6:54pm |
Hi everyone, and thanks so much for reading this. I was wondering if anyone can relate to a problem I'm having. I recently met this really great guy... he's fairly cute, very sweet, caring, generous, etc. He seems to really like me. By the way, I'm 32. The problem is, I can't seem to figure out how I'm feeling about him. One minute I'm thinking everything's great, the next minute I'm not sure if I'm attracted to him enough. This has been causing me some anxiety. Also, I've discovered that I have many of the symptoms of depression... tired all the time, loss of interest, anxiety, can't make decisions, etc. Could these things be causing my problems connecting to this great guy, or is he just not the one for me? I'm really confused. I also recall this happening to me in the past...great guy, not sure of how I feel. It seems like all the guys I've had "butterflies" over (which is what I think I'm craving) are the ones who ended up hurting me, or just weren't interested in me. So, it seems like I gravitate toward the nice guys, but then aren't sure if I'm into them enough. Can anyone relate to this or offer some advice on what do do?

((((((mallory)))))), what you're feeling is normal.
Welcome Mallory72,
So many times the butterflies only mean you happen to have a good combination on phonemes going.
I hope you're right about the indecisiveness possibly playing a role here. To some people, I may seem scared of committment, but I know that's not the case. Any tips on why, when I'm with him, I can't help but focus on the things that I don't like rather than the things I do like? There are only a couple things I'm not attracted to about him, and for some reason, I can't get them off my mind. It makes me feel terrible because he's such a nice guy. I think about him a lot, sometimes in a good way, other times thinking I should end it because I'm unsure and don't want to hurt him. Is it possible for me to fall in love at this time or is my mind just too tainted by the depression? I don't want to lose a possible good thing over my confusion. It just seems so odd to me how I can change my mind so many times. It's really hard to deal with.
For many of us, in the throes of depression, we do focus on the negative things.
I too do what you do where I will focus on the things that I dont like rather than look at the things that I do like about the person and I then basically ruin the entire possibility of having a relationship with the person.
I hate what I do and I recognize that I do it but it is me protecting myself because I feel that I will end up getting hurt and I pass up the good ones and obsess over the bad ones..that is my punishment I guess since I was horrible to the good guys I punish myself with the bad guys...
The depression lays a huge role in my relationships with others, I push them away I cant make up my mind sometimes, I get upset anxiety comes in sometimes it is bad and yet another thing I hate...for counseling I went to the united way and that is where my shrink is and my therapist is and I love it my insurance covers the cost I just have a co-pay but I know that alot of places do a sliding scale look into it a bit and cant hurt you any....
Sorry I am not making much sense had a really bad weekend....best of luck to you...
Erin