Can you tell me Im not wrong??????
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Can you tell me Im not wrong??????
| Mon, 02-23-2004 - 7:49am |
Before my Hat goes back on for the day cause I cant sit here like a quiverring bowl of jello all day again and cry... I just need to know Im not wrong to want this or to do this..........
I know none of you can know that but I have to know that I at least have some ground to stand on besides the Fact that I dont love him and Im not happy in my marriage.
Yes he has grabbed me twice so that is abuse right? Even it was only twice ? And he has threatened me a few times but never actually hit me........ Am I wrong to want to leave?
He has messed up my life financially.. Our Credit rating is probably 0....


Sweetie,
Anyone of the reason's you have cited is enough to at least consider divorce on.
Beth
~stephanie
You aren't wrong, it sounds to me like you have tried to work on things. You can not force someone to change if they aren't willing. We all have to potential to get to the point where we don't care anymore and have had enough. If you have honestly tried to wrok things out in a marriage( which I think everyone has an obligation to do) and your partner isn't willing to do his or her part then I think it's time to move on. From the sound of it you would be better off alone and more able to get your life together. I know this must be painful and I'm sorry.
Shannon
You do not need to justify anything to me. You need to do what is best for you and Jordan. It's not as if you haven't tried to make it work, right?
Take care and do what is BEST FOR YOU AND JORDAN!!!
Sending hugs....
Pamela
Just wanted to add my 2cents......To me Marriage means, a friend for life, someone who wants to have a life with me, whom I love and trust.
So, with that said, I dont think you have a marriage, and dont see the point of staying in a legal situation that is not going well. If it were stocks you bought for example, you would have lost too much money already to stay in, and would have sold them.
I grew up with two parents who fought day and night, all I ever wished for all those years was for them to separate. My stomache still turns over when people I am around raise their voices and throw insults at each other. I am now 44 years old, never married and have a sleep disorder to boot, which from all accounts can see it stemed from being awake all night as a child listening to yelling, or waiting to hear the yelling
If you and your husband cannot trust each other, argue over everything, STILL have money issues due to his inability to fix things AND you are getting blamed for his actions, Oh my gosh, get out........whats going to happen to you when he has no one else to bail him out.....will that push come to a hit? Will his threats become reality and you and Jordan be hurt not just emotionally, but physically as well?
If youre this unhappy, I imagine Jordan is unhappy also......I think its better to have him see you be strong and venture out on your own, it will be hard too, but a different kind of hard. A hard where you are accomplishing something for you and your son.
I dont know if I made any real sense here, but hopefully you understand what I am saying......You are not wrong, seek legal help, and go from there
Gayle
Have a good one,
Gayle
You are in my thoughts and prayers......Hugs Ilka
((((Caly))))
I have been there, done that and I can tell you that I felt the same way as what you did.
CL for The
YOU ARE NOT WRONG!!!! YOU ARE RIGHT!!!!
It's not just that you are "not happy." This man has bullied you into not having a say in this marriage with his verbal and on two occasions physcial attacks. Worst of all, he has used his venom to try to turn your own son against you when you have justly questioned his outrageous behavior. He didn't just "grab" you. You said that he caused you bruises and significantly hurt you at least once. It's not like he stopped because he changed, you've just been so scared of him that you walk on egg shells and acquiesce to prevent further tirades on his part. This is an abusive man! He's extremely controlling, belittling and narcissistic. As you said yourself, he has brought down your self-esteem and it's taken considerable work on your part of to gain a sense of yourself back.
I support you 100% in taking care of yourself and your son by getting out of this marriage.
I think the question is how should you best do this to prepare your new life for yourself and Jordan? That's where your thought and planning should go. Clearly, your husband has made his funds separate in the marriage, but that doesn't mean that your state laws will agree. Every state is different, so you need to talk to a lawyer about your rights. Mothers almost always get the children, except in extreme cases or when they give them up. Mothers often even leave the state with the children. It is your right to do what you want to do. Your husband will have to provide child support. The worst part is that legal fees could skyrocket if he chooses to make this a legal mess. But you can do everything from taking money from his bank account, moving out with whatever stuff you want to take while he's at work or out of town, to simply changing the locks and getting court order that he doesn't live there anymore. You have a lot of rights. His physical abuse alone gives you power. I don't know if you took pictures of the bruises when he abused you, but you can substantiate his behavior with any witnesses that you spoke with about it at the time.
Also, can you take those paint ball guns back and get cash for them? You said they've never been used. When you make your move, I think you should do that. It'd be funny, and give you well-needed cash for your next step.
We're all here for you through this, girl.
Love Always,
MariaC