mom needs encouragement!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2004
mom needs encouragement!
2
Thu, 02-26-2004 - 11:20am
I have posted here once before and welcomed the feedback so today I am here to share with you again. My son is 16 today. He suffers from depression and has been doing fairly well since starting medication a bout 2 months ago.

He has been failing school all year and has recently been placed on academic probation. His school is public but is a special program where we live and he can be asked to leave if he does not conform to their guidelines for the probation. His father (who does not live with us) has no idea that he is in therapy or failing school. He is not a stable person either and my son has made his own choice to keep him out of the loop and I respect this. However, today for his birthday his father has decided to pick him up early from school and take him out. Of course my son thinks this is the coolest and is ecstatic. I, on the other hand, have to be the one who insists he go back after lunch to conform with the academic probation guidelines. As you may guess, I am now the terrible mother who has "ruined" his birthday.

Sorry for the self-pity party. I guess I am hoping for reassurance that given time he will understand??

Thanks for listening!

trish

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Thu, 02-26-2004 - 11:31am



Trish,

Try not to be so hard on yourself, I remember when I was 16 and my mom was the devil to me all she ever wanted was for me to do good and school and to have a good future and she pushed for me to study do homework and to stay away from the wrong people I see that all she wanted was the best for me but when I was 16 I thought she was trying to ruin my life and I told her that I hated her and that she was ruining my life, the thing is he is 16 he is a teenager and he will have resentment for you no matter what you do that is him just being a teenager.

I look back and I wish that I did listen to my mom I ended up doing alot of drugs and hanging out with the wrong people drinking doing bad things and ya I am older now wiser and a mom myself and I am sure messing up in my past will help me when my son is old enough but I do regret alot of what I had put my mom thru..

Your son is on probation right and hs dad doesnt know maybe he is agreeing to go out with his dad only because he doesnt want him to find out at all what is going on maybe out of fear maybe out of not wanting to disappoint his father, you are not the bad one here at all you want your son to do well in school and in life...

Do not blame yourself do not let anyone make you feel you are a bad mother because you are not bad in any way shape or form...

Your son will come around and when all is said and done he will probably thank you for what you did trust me I know from experiance.

Erin

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2004
Fri, 02-27-2004 - 8:56am
Erin,

Thanks...just the encouragement I needed to get "back on track".!

Blessings to you...

trish