I think my bf is depressed

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
I think my bf is depressed
13
Thu, 02-26-2004 - 1:37pm
Hi All,

I have strong reasons to believe that my boyfriend is depressed. Several people in my family have suffered from depression, and both are under the care of doctors. This has taught me what to look for. My boyfriend suddenly does not want to go out anymore. He thinks he's just "not a happy person", which I find hard to believe. Recently he has started to tell me that I deserve better than him, he's not "worth it" and that he's just a miserable, terrible person. He's also started worrying about having melanoma or other diseases.

My bf surivived the Sept. 11 attacks on the WTC, but never sought counseling. Recently, his aunt and grandfather passed away. I think all of this adds to his depression.

I want him to see a doctor, but I'm not sure how to broach the subject. He doesn't know that people in my family have depression, so I'm not sure if he'd know that I'm comfortable "dealing" with this on a day-to-day basis. I want him to try to get help before I lose him forever. I already know he's slipping away from me. Any help would be much appreciated.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
Tue, 03-02-2004 - 10:58am

You are a strong woman to be able to listen to that little inner voice of truth.

AcornLeaves
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 3:58pm
Hi,

Maybe I could use a little more support...

Last night my ex told me that he's going out with one of his female friends tonight. She was/is depressed, and I know that she is at least on anti-dep meds. He said he wanted to talk to her about what's been going on. I was completely supportive of this, as I know he's leaning on her because he feels like she's been there already. But on a purely selfish note, I feel sad that he is opening up to another woman, and not me...his supposed best friend.

He also told me last night that before we started going out, and at least one time since we were toghether, he had a panic attack. I was shocked and wished he had told me this a long time ago. This made me cry. I wish he had been more open with me.

And finally, now that we're broken up, I feel so sad. And suddenly, he doesn't seem sad at all! He said he no longer feels guilty for not being a good boyfriend to me. He thinks he's no longer hurting me. In reality, I hurt more now that we're not together. And a little piece of me is angry that he's suddenly seeming to be happier.

I know, I know...I should be talking to him less (and we definitely are), but it's hard to just cut him out of my life when just last week we were best friends and lovers. How come it seems like he is cutting me out so much easier???

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 10:42pm

Hi, Debzy2004!

AcornLeaves

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