new here....trigger?? just in case

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2004
new here....trigger?? just in case
1
Fri, 02-27-2004 - 2:05am
hello my name is joni and im not sure about this...i was wondering about the symptoms(sp?)of depression... i took the quiz and it said i should seek a doctors opinion, but i figured id ask a few questions first. im 24 yrs old, married 6yrs dh 26, 2 kids ds 6, dd 4.well i feel like i am failing as a mother and as a wife. i get aggravated so quickly and have no motivation to do much (like house work, dinner, getting things done that need to be done), my feelings get hurt for no reason really, i get offended when my dh ask me if i did a certain thing that day. i cry easily, right now im just so sad, contantly feel drained of energy. i get imtimidated so fast by other women that ive almost stopped having anything to do with my kids schools. and then i feel bad because i feel like im letting my kids down. my dh asked me to get a job but im so scared i will screw something up if i get one so i dont even try. i have gained some weight and me and dh got a membership to a gym but i dont go cause i feel like i look stupid and wont be able to figure out the machines. i dont have many friends because we moved away for 5yrs and then moved back to our hometown and i dont know where to look for company. so i just talk to my soon-to-be-sis-in-law (best friend). i feel like everyone is out to get me. like being two-faced to me. and its driving me crazy. i feel as my whole family dh and kids ignore me contantly and that drives me nuts as well. i went to a psycoligist in dec. and she took me all wrong i feel like as she got me to talking about my dd and decided i needed to have her checked out in stead of concentrating on me and why i felt i was there. i know i have been depressed before when me and dh and ds like in tenn. while i was preg. with dd. and i felt like that for about two years. then i felt fine til after we moved back here a little over two years. also i get real sharp pains in my head they last for about 10sec-1min long.sometimes i get them 1-2 times aday up to about 8 times a day. i have had those for a little over two years. i feel like im always walking on eggshells and trying to be extra nice so not to piss of my dh when i m not really doing anything that would get on his nerves. i can be really strong in front of people but when the company is gone i get down in the dumps. i love my family with all my heart and hate that i feel like im not happy with them and that they are not happy with me. i feel like im always getting on to the kids. and i feel like when i do put in the extra effort to do something i think the kids would love they dont like it but when dh gets home they love everything he gets them. and that makes me sad too. my dh is such a good man and he does so much for us we wouldnt have anything we have if it wasnt for him. he lets me do the things i want when we have the money. i feel like im the one that is not good enough for the great relationship im in but we have such a good relationship. we have been together for almost 9 yrs and have gone through alot and have overcome it all but this. well i hope some one can read this and help me know what im feeling. thank you so much for taking the time to read this.

not knowing,

joni

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
Sat, 02-28-2004 - 8:39pm

((((((((Joni)))))))), I am so sorry that somehow your initial post was overlooked.

AcornLeaves