I just don't care, trigs maybe? Dunno.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2003
I just don't care, trigs maybe? Dunno.
2
Sun, 02-29-2004 - 1:49am
I don't really care any more in life. Seems like the more I do for people, the more I get dumped on. I odn't know what I'm doing wrong in life, but it seems to keep kicking me in the behind. I can't take it anymore. Moving home--what a mistake, but I knew that all along. Nothing like verbal abuse every 5 minutes from brother and father. WHOO HOO! where do I go to sign up for that one. Went out ot dinner with brother and a friend. Brother ditched us to talk to two high maintenence girls, who after my brother bought them both 2 drinks, ditched him. In the mean time, my friend and I ate dinner without bob. Go figure. Thanks! On top of that he got drunk and gave me a "woe is me" party, then proceeded to tell me what a mean and angry drunk I was (I had TWO whopping drinks in 2 hours...). Not only that, found out I was ungrateful, and unappriciative. Everyone thinks so. Maybe he's right. Maybe that's why I have no friends. I don't care anymore. I'm done trying. I'm tired of being dumped on and taken advantage of.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Sun, 02-29-2004 - 2:06am
Trix,

Girl, do I feel for you living with 2 abusive relatives! I lived with my vicious sister when I was going through a difficult time 8 years ago. Biggest mistake of my whole life! I lived with her for 3 months and it took me 6 years to recover from the suicidal depression her constant berating put me into.

Is it possible for you to move out? I'd recommend getting out of that scenario as soon as you can. As long as you are there, I'd recommend avoiding those two as much as possible. Don't go out with your brother. He's mean. He will only hurt you. It's probably better that you didn't sit at dinner with him for the whole night. Do other things besides being at home with the two of them. If that means to get another job so you can afford to move out sooner, do that. These two are bringing you down fast. It's a long climb back up. There's no worse abuse than to be an adult living in the abuse that wounded and traumatized you in the first place.

If you are thinking of hurting yourself, please at least be willing to change the situation first. You owe that to yourself. You don't deserve to be abused, but you are the only one who can save yourself from it. Getting as second job will keep you out of the house and put you in better position financially. Even if it's just a job on your days off, it will free you from that house. Otherwise, hang out at the mall, sit at bookstores and read self-help books, go for walks (if it's too cold outside, walk at the mall). Just be out of that house. Only go there to sleep. Avoiding the abusive people is the only way to save your sanity and get your sense of yourself back.

Your brother and father are obviously very anger, mean and abusive. All they can bring to you is hurt and pain. Haven't they given you enough of that for one life?

I'm pulling for you and praying for you,

MariaC

Avatar for legs2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 02-29-2004 - 10:07am
((((Erin)))) I think you and I are twins, maybe this your post is a profound statement of why we are depressed. We appear to be strong enough to handle other's burdens. I know how you feel all too well. I don't have many friends. I have withdrawn myself and who knows why else. Not sure I care..lol. I have friends here on the board.....and I am making my way I suppose.

You are so special to me, I hope to not cry when I say this. I have to shower and be in public soon. I am so sorry that someone so important to me hurts. I wish I could take my italian american arms and hugs you for a long time. Close your eyes and picture it, I am there with you, I swear.

Oh well, cried anyway...lol, I am such a sentimental sap when it comes to friends.

Sending hugs and good thoughts your way....my sweet wonderful friend.

Lisa-)